How to tell people NO

Hi, I fully understand your preferences in baby care. I think it’s every mother’s natural instinct. At the same time, if we’re working, it’s very difficult to control many things and dictate exactly how others should take care of our LO, because they’re the ones dealing with the day to day crying/tantrums/difficulties, and the caregivers then want to use their own styles of coping or dealing with that, which can definitely be very different from our style. Like you said, trying to remotely tell them what to do will likely lead to big fights and unhappiness. In my case, my husband became a stay at home dad, and even he and I have super different parenting styles. We had lots of discussions and sometimes arguments, but it was a big learning journey for both of us.. to find a good balance between the styles, and each giving in at different times. When my 2nd LO came along, I took a big step to stop work for a year, so that both my husband and I could work through raising the 2 kids in our own styles and yet complementing each other. I also got to experience all the daily tantrums/struggles he faces, so I’ve become more understanding in letting him do certain things his way. May I humbly suggest that you consider: 1. Having good conversations with your LOs caregivers, to understand their thoughts and struggles, to see why they do things that way.. then you can explain your worries and concerns too.. 2. If things still don’t work out, and these concerns are very significant for you, then perhaps consider infant care? Or if you’re willing, take time off from work to look after your LO yourself? (I really did enjoy the year of freedom in deciding my parenting style, although it was also tiring) Hope you’ll find a good solution:)

Hi! Before I gave birth, I foresee all these parenting difference that’s our parents would have compared to us, and hence we did not even consider engaging their help. So right from day 1, we decide to put her to ifc. And after I give birth, we have been proven right that our parents are really not aligned with us, and sometime I feel they are “outdated” in their parenting style. And after 6mo of ifc, my husband and I still have the final say in all of our baby welfare. How we want to parent our child and teach etc. I suggest you talk to ur husband about it and see what’s the best solution you can have. ***edit: I saw ur reply below about ur mum being toxic . I wouldn’t even want to engage her help. She is helping to take care of grandchild out of love , not using the grandchild as a mean of making money.