73 Replies
Yes, I agree with Jamie. I think both are equally important and it is dependent on the situation. For example, when it comes to safety issues, children will probably come first as they are dependent on their parents to protect and make sound and good decisions for them. In front of family members, spouse will come first to present a united front. Even if there is any disagreement, I personally feel that it could be sorted in private. In public, one should never put their spouses down. When in front of the children especially, it is important to respect each other. Parents will always feel that they are responsible for their children. That being said, at the end of the day, it will be your spouse holding your hand and keeping you company till the end of the journey. Just my two cents. :)
I would put my spouse first because we have been through so much together and the happy life, the kids -- all that happened because of the love I share with my spouse. That being said, it's not as if I will love my children any less. It's just a different kind of love put out separately for my kids and my spouse. Plus, at the end of the day, when the kids have grown and moved on with their lives, my spouse will be the one next to me to hopefully grow old gracefully with. So yes, I will love my children unconditionally and give them my all but at the end of the day, my man will always be the love of my life :)
This article suggests good reasons and gives justice as to why we should put our spouse first before our children http://familyshare.com/marriage/4-key-reasons-why-it-matters-to-put-your-spouse-before-your-children I totally have no objections and all points taken but personally I always see myself putting my daughter first before my partner primarily because she is a girl, still young and dependant to me. As a mum, I believe am fully responsible to my child like forever and also since my partner is still yet to help me find ways to sustain my child’s needs, I have to give my all to the feeble one.
Why isn't putting yourself first an option? I don't mean completely ignoring your child or spouse, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. Take that nap with your child, spend some time having a meal alone or even just taking the time after the kids are asleep to do what you love! I know, it's hard to take time off from being a mum, but sometimes you have to take that time to save your sanity. Sure, love your spouse and pamper each other - and of course, don't forget about doing what your child loves ... but remember that you have to take time for yourself too. Any small way you can.
Putting your spouse first is most important. When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life. If you have to spend time worrying about your marriage, it will take away from your productivity at work. Even more important, if you spend time fretting over marital problems, you have less time to devote to your children. There is only so much time and space in your life so keeping the marriage strong opens up more avenues for your relationship with your children to flourish
In the midst of taking care of your kids , the priority should still be your spouse . This is what we learnt during pre-marital counselling . As Kids grow up , they will leave the nest to find their own world , but my spouse and I are the two who promise to grow old together. The love between husband n Wife is the strong glue that will hold the family together .. in this way , we can model good marriage example to our kids too :) never ever let Children take the place of our spouse
No second thoughts - KIDS first. Your spouse is supposed to understand the situation as your better half. Whereas the innocent and sensitive kid is your priority. But there is a catch - keep yourself some private time to spend with him/her by asking your parents or in-laws to baby-sit. This keeps your relationship going and importantly it gives a much needed break.
I'm actually putting my kids first. And sadly that has cost a strain to my marriage with my hubby. My hubby is always complaining saying that I put the kids first all the time. But shouldn't my hubby be more mature and sacrifice for the sake of our children's needs? We are parents right and we should sacrifice our own needs for them.
There is no right or wrong with such question. But it's up to individual thinking. For me, i always put my kids first before anything else. They are young and vulnerable. For my spouse, he always place work infront of everything else followed by kids then his family. Different people prioritize things differently.
Spouse would be 1st as we are married to each other and hence the role model for my kid. But I actually balance it well. We compromised on spending enough time with each other and our kid as well, as both are working long hours. So communication is the largest factor which will keep a happy marriage and wonderful family.