Parents with young kids

Hi all, parents do you put your kids at childcare / infant care or your in laws/parents look after them? Am currently faced with a complicated situation which is: 1) In laws are still working full time so unable to take care of LOs (< 1 y/o) 2) my own parents are unable to take care of LO full time as they are close to 70, do not want to put additional strain on them and they are not in the greatest health 3) both hubs and I am working full time 4) infant care/childcare did cross my mind but in laws strongly against it cos they feel that I should be SAHM for the first 4 years of LO’s life 5) getting a helper did cross my mind too but hubs is strongly against it because he doesn’t like an outsider/stranger living in the same house. 6) Hubs felt that i should put LOs with my parents since that’s the only choice so we both can go to work. I can’t afford to quit my job as I still have to provide for my parents/pay loans/bills/mortgage etc :/ and desperately want to put my LO in a IFC/CC near my workplace. Dearest mummies and daddies, how do you cope with full time work plus young kiddos? Thanks all for your inputs in advance.

Vô danh

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infant care is the best option during our time. I have 2 kids and both went infant care after my 3 months of maternity leave. they will get use to it after some time. falling sick is part and parcel of growing up. you don't have to give up your job to have kids. some people speak very lightly about how people nowadays just give birth but refuse to give up their work to take care of the kid. I just want to assure you that having kids is only part of the marriage and motherhood life. Some chose to give up their jobs and be SAHM. That's their choice. You don't have to be swayed by others. It's your child, you decide. I chose to continue working because I am confident that I am able to juggle both career and family at the same time, of course with the help of my husband. We don't have a helper for the same concern that you husband had. Now my kids are 10yo and 5yo, they are much easier to manage. Though other types of challenges come with kids of these ages. I never regret not giving up my career to look after the kids. I think also because we didn't have much help from either side of the parents, our kids remained very close to us till today. And our careers are at our personal peak as well. So, you just need to assess the kind of support system you have around you and make your decision accordingly.

Tbh i think it is sad that parents nowadays, who are able and have d opportunity to conceive are jz putting their kids in infant cares at such young age. At this age, kids need their parents the most. Everyone is chasing for the subsidies. What abt the mental and emotional building of the kid that you gave birth to? I know nowadays economy is not that stable whereby the household may need both parents to wrk. But cn't you go bck to wrk when the child is slightly bigger? Say when the kid is gg K1? Why get married and have kids when all you wanna do is go bck to wrk?

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Vô danh

3y trước

Every household have different constraints that they will need to work with. Let’s be kinder and more understanding instead of jumping to such conclusions

Just put infant care. Since your in laws are currently still working and unable to help, they shouldn't comment so much whether you should be SAHM for first four years etc. It's like they can't help, yet still gave you such suggestion. It's definitely not helping. You can't please everyone. So just have a good talk with your hubby. Let him know your parents are old already, cannot ask them to take care of LO too.

I guess you would just have to sit down & talk to your hub about it. I did not like a stranger in the house too, but when faced with situation, u just need to make a decision & am not able to please everyone. Cheers

If your own parents are close to 70, better not. And it seems like your inlaws are not willing to give up their jobs too. If I were you, infant care is the most straightforward solution.

I myself don't recommend ifc. If you yourself hard pain your child crying. My first child so I quite don't bear to put in.

I got a helper. Talked things out with my family/

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