Ranting about In laws

Hi love. Firstly, Pregnancy does give you a bunch of stressed but you need to always remind yourself that you need to take a deep breath and always think about your health and your baby! Remember, it will affect your baby as much as it affects you.. Like myself, during pregnancy, i have such an amazing time with my very own parents then my in laws. In laws tend to think they know every single damn thing that is happening when in reality they dont. They tend to hold back their son even when they knew we were pregnant. I was HEAVILY pregnant when my husband forced me to go to his parents house for a visit.. not even just that, they asked my husband to follow them to JB when i told my husband, i can anytime need to be in labour, i was at 40weeks mind you. And he says with his bloody soft annoying s*** kind of voice with his sympathy look saying... "i just follow for awhile, i be back before 10pm.. i pity them.." eh bodoh.. he reached home at 3am and not even a single sorry man! Another part, he told me hes meeting his dad at 5pm because he needs to renew his mobile contract and be back at 9pm.. HELLO, its bloody 10:30pm and i called him saying "im starting to have spotting now, either u move ur bloody a** off or i shall have my mum in the labour ward with me because i might give birth tonight." He rushed and trust me...My in laws were not there during my admission before i left for my emergency csection. My parents were there thru out the entire process waiting for me. When i gave birth to my 1st born, my parents were there since 7am. And stayed with me till my in laws came and they left because my mum and dad dislike how they treated me and no signs of respect when the fact that my in laws always visited me at 8/9pm when visiting hours ENDED. Just imagine, the pain after birth, with not much of movement, iv drops on ur right hand, peeing tube around you, leg compression is switched on, you have bloody limited movement and definitely you need your husbands help right? BUT NO... my in laws even asked my husband, "u going back to our house right?lets make a move now.. which is at 11pm when at that period they force my husband to asked the nurse to bring my son out just for the sake for them to see him. My mum in law even have the cheek to bloody hell say "just take him out dnt let him stay in there for too long" first off all, thats my son, second, i need to rest and to cure QUICKLY., third of all youre not supposed to force us to call the nurse when my son is soundly asleep. My husband was a HUGE MESS GUNDU. I cried alone every night thinking what on earth is this guy doing? Didnt he realised his wife just gave birth and NEED him. Even he cnt stay overnight but we managed to seek permission for him to stay alil longer. But noooo... he happily left and say "i be early tomorror, i be here at 6:30am" but nooe he reaches at almost 9am when my parents are already here. And up till today, i was super firm with him and his parents. Like i dont care of he wanna say anything. My mum looks after my son. She looks after him super WELL! In law? I dont have the trust in them, sorry but not sorry. How can i trust them when i just fed my son, they wanted to burp him, end up my son not burping but throwing out his milk out..why? Because they have no patience and kept moving him around. And even when i wore for my son his mittens they go "what is this, this is annoying for him" they simply dont bloody understand the pros and cons of wearing mittens at all. Up till today im sick and tired of them. But what can i do? When they say stupid things, i will talk to my husband and knock some shut out of his head, and let him understand because men are SLOW. So heads up mummy! Youre not alone going thru this kind of s***! Be strong and please dont stressed urself out! Dont bother what they say because u do u. They dont earn you btw. ❤️❤️❤️

For the first part on your PIL, I don’t think the issue is big yet. Just need to tahan 1 year. Your sil is the bigger problem. For me, if my husband wants to stay at his and I don’t want to, I would just stay seperately then. However, after giving birth, baby will stay with ME. You wanna visit, you come over. For your sil, I will just tell her I have my own plans, don’t need her to worry. She can worry about her own brother if she really have nothing to kpo about. Even if you wanna badmouth about me to your brother go ahead, as long as your brother don’t bother me with it. I never use your money, never use you egg, why do you need to kpo whether I wanna work or not. If my husband can feed me, even if I wanna stay home shake leg 24/7 also 不轮到你来讲. I would have asked her back the same thing, if her reply is the same as you, use it back at her. If her reply is no, then tell her “people pay for you, you eat free and expensive food still want to comment this and that, be appreciative.” Or if you want to be meaner (if your budget allows), pay your own portion right in her face and tell her, food is good. It’s not free btw. I would stop buying food for your sil. If wanna go together, ask her to pay for her own portion. If you cannot appreciate, then you don’t deserve it. Don’t let your sil bully you. Like you’re just a sil, not even pil…. You kpo and talk so much for what… got time to kpo about me… might as well use the time to go and find bf and get married. I used to be like tofu, after I gave birth, I realized…. Some people really no need give face else they dk when to stop.

Just my thoughts on your current situation. I think your living arrangement at the moment is not ideal - to be separated with hubby. But also I understand there’s nothing you can do about it. Also, your hubby sounds incredibly immature. It seems he is too comfortable in his own home (perhaps mother spoil him too much at home and he feels he is ‘restricted’ when he goes over to your place? -idk it’s just my guesses). At this point the pregnant one should be prioritized and he should be giving in and going to your place instead because it seems like going over to his is a strain on your mental health which is not good for you. But it seems he is reluctant. On to your sil, she seems like a pain. I think she may be going through some mid life crisis. Seeing her own brother moving on with his life, got married, now expecting. And she’s still single. So I can’t help feel that she is sort of venting her jealousy and envy on you. It’s very common and I’ve heard this many times before with friends who have sil who are single and old. I would avoid having any direct conflicts with her for now as you’ll still have to see her face (at least for the next few months) if your husband always wants to stay at his place or until your new house arrives. I would avoid her and her snarky comments. Whatever she says I would reply like ‘noted thanks’ or something short. Then ignore her and not make new conversations with her. Hopefully she will get the hint and feel the change in attitude but still there’s no direct conflict. Remember, now your baby and mental health is your priority. Getting emotionally angry all the time is not good as baby can feel your emotions too. :)

My opinion on this is: You are the one who’s carrying your child. Your body and mind is already going through so many changes and only you will truly understand what you are going through. Your in-laws opinions are mere opinions and they can keep it to themselves. It’s completely fair to want your husband to be there with you at your place during and after your pregnancy. His job is to support you not just by bringing you food but also the other intrinsic motivation. Sometimes I think that because women are the ones who feel their babies inside them, they are more prepared for parenthood while the baby remains a concept to men until they physically see the baby. Depending on your husband’s character, you could have a sincere conversation with him addressing your needs and emphasise how much support you are willing to give him as well. Pregnancy and parenthood is a private journey for both you and your husband. Things will be easier when you have each other in your own space but the relationship needs to be nourished from now itself. It will really help you find strength to treat your in-laws behaviour as noise. When you are lonely, you can become more susceptible to the negativity and it’s not good for you. Your happiness matters.

Agree with the other reply. Why should you have to accommodate when you are the one carrying the baby! You should have the priority and make the choice where you want to stay after you deliver. I think you should be more firm when telling your husband. For your SIL, just tell her straight up, don’t need to worry about how she feels or take it because she obviously doesn’t care about how you feel. People will just push you when they feel like you won’t talk back or fight back. The dinner part is ridiculous as well, Goh should have just said of course it’s free for me cos my husband is paying, didn’t he pay for your share too? People like that need to be shut up. Hope you feel better soon, mental health is v important ❤️

In laws from hell. Just ignore what they say and prioritise yourself. Dont care what they say cause youre the one carrying the baby. If they baby your husband so much why bother letting your husband get married. In laws always like this ah dont want to let go of people whos alr married and always think the daughter in law is the bad one

pregnant win already. no need care all this people. Sometimes in pregnancy, we can also seem to be "sensitive" or "hormonal" . Close 2 eyes and rant to your friends or online. Keeping everything to yourself is horrible. My body my choice.

honestly his family doesn’t matter , what matter is no matter what happen he stay and stand by your side!

🙏💕