Need to rant and listening ears. I don't know what should I do? I felt really really tired for my marriage. I just gave birth two month ago, and alot of things has happened. It is driving me on the verge of leaving my husband. My husband is a guy that love his 'face', everytime he expect me to suck it up even i was treated unfairly by him. So that, I won't embarrassed him infront of his colleagues or relatives when we had an argument. He always think i am a bad wife, a bad daughter in law, where he always compare me to his friends' wife. But all his friends wife is all stay home mom, who had time to do all the housework and taking care of the child. What's more, i am earning more than him. Before our marriage, when we had an arguments, he would use vulgarities and be rough on me. And when i want to leave, he told me he promised not to do it again. When i got married to him when i found out i was pregnant. I told him that my parents is fine with having a simple rom and a reception. So that we could use the saving that we both save for our child. Ended up his mother keep saying that i will regret if i dont held a grand wedding and walk down the aisle. Ended up we spent 30k of our saving preparing for a wedding that i did not want. I went along with it so to respect his parent's wishes. During my pregnancy, it wasn't a smooth pregnancy. My husband was not always there for me as he has work commitment.There was one time i woke up with blood on my panties and i was not due yet. I was send to the hospital by my dad, stayed in the emergency room from 5am till 12pm while my dad waiting for me outside. I was the one who told my husband, to go ahead for his work as it was a rare opportunities for him. Closer to my due date, his boss asked him if he could go oversea as his company lack of manpower. I too, say its okay. I tried to be as understanding as much as i could, as i do not want to hinder with his career. But ended up, he branded me as a bad wife. When we had argument, he once pushed me which made me fall and luckily i did not suffered miscarriage. He told me that whatever he said and does to me, is i deserve it. When ever i have bruises from him being rough at me, i always covered up by lying to his parents/friends/my parents that i knock on to the drawer, i fell.. Am i a bad wife? Bad daughter in law? Because his mom never ask me do housework or cook, when i did his parents tell me not to? He degrade me, he scolded me and he uses his hand on me. I am really tired of this relationship. He told me, if i dont talk back or quarrel with him. He won't become like this and what i received from him is what i deserve. He expect me to be good, to keep quiet and to be understanding. I did all that, i kept mum about what happened from his family, i become understanding towards what he wanted, i took care of my child during my confinement while he went back to work because his boss need him during his paternity leave. He is dedicated towards his friend, his colleagues. I always try and try to be a good wife, so finally he could just treat me right without all these physical and verbally abuse from him. But the result is still the same, he told me I cannot be angry, if i am angry then i will received all these. So i should be emotionless? Is being angry is wrong?. I really don't know how i am feeling now. Depressed? Disappointed? Upset? What have i done wrong to him that I received all these? Im so confused and tired. Thanks for listening.. :)

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I’ve realised this post was about 2 years ago and wondering how you’re doing now. Did you managed to mellow your Husband and worked things out? I’ve faced the exact same situation as you. My Husband pushed me and punched me in my face while I was heavily pregnant, it was so serious it triggered contractions but baby not ready to come out. Luckily baby is ok. He continue to abuse me when baby is out, while I’m carrying baby. One time he pushed me and baby hurt the head. I also have no family support, no income and the only way is to bear with all this.

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2y ago

how r u now?

My husband too will use vulgarities to me like “fcuk you” and “ccb”. But end of the day we still talk it out and he will give me a hug and tell me he really cares about me and our daughter. Sometimes men doesn’t think before they say. But then again if he uses action against you, that’s a big no no. I suggest you to talk to him about it and try to clear the air by telling him not to do that anymore. But if he stil does that again I think I will consider divorcing him even we have baby because I wouldn’t let him take advantage of me.

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Oh dear, first of all, hugs to you. It takes courage to rant and get advice. Listening to your situation, I am worried for you. I do not think that your husband has your interest at heart. He does not place you as his priority. A man who uses physical abuse or emotional abuse is someone who cannot be trusted. Seek help from proper channels such as family service centers. I believe that they can help you through this difficult period. Better sooner than later.

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Leave him. My first Marriage i was abused . Verbally and physically to a point it gets more and more frequent and it became a daily affair. I tried to make it work for 3 years but it only turns out worst. I’m only Giving him the opportunity to vent his anger on me. Always apologising but did not change. My advice is don’t waste your time anymore. You have your own family to support you through this tough time.

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The signs of continuous abuse was already there prior to u being pregnant and getting married to him. He seems to Be very controlling over you and it's torturing you both mentally and physically. It will not end here, it will continue and one day it will be so bad that it will harm you, and even your child. If I am to be in your position, I will leave him.

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Hello, I am no expert but if you earn more than him, you have to make a decision. Even if you can tolerate his wrongdoing, will you be able to tolerate if he does this to your child? People don’t change easily. Please consider things through for your child and make decision for yourself. Personally, I think violence is as bad as gambling and it won’t go away easily.

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1mo ago

this is a very old post fyi

I was able to get some reasonable proof to back my case when I had issues with my wife , and they helped me with some evidence which I used in court. So big thanks to whoever recommended this team on this platform because they have done a good help I filed for divorce and I accepted we were never meant to be [email protected] WWW.HACKERSPYVILLE.COM

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You MUST leave him immediately. For your future and sanity's sake. He has already taken up and abuse most of your life, please do yourself a favor and leave. Your heart is PRECIOUS. Take care of your heart. Dont until you hv your 5th child with him, only then you regret. This is the right time since you are earning your own income with only one child.

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Lol. You sure there’s love in this relationship? Girl you gotta have a limit for yourself??? Why let a man treat you like trash?? You’re better off without him should have broke it off long ago. This marriage ain’t working out. You deserve way better. He loves his face so much then marry himself. He have no rights to treat you like tradh

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I am so sorry you have to go through these. Nobody deserves to be treated this way.Looks like hb is a full blown narcissistic person.Difficult to deal with and rarely will change his way.I hope that oneday you will find strenght to love yourself again and make the right decision for yourself and kids. Take care.

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