RANT

Hi mummy, Just want to rant and find a place to talk "or else maybe i will go insane soon. I married to my husband 4 years ago. Having a 2 years old baby at home, I m a SAHM so husband is the breadwinner. The only problem is their family rule and those "Stupid and Kepor" relatives. His family rule is 1. I cant talk bad things even like "oh i m so badluck today, i forget to bring wallet" badluck is a no no words for them. Or "please dont drive if u r sleepy,later will get accident how". Accident is no no words. N also many other words. ( too many words so i just give 2 samples here) 2. I only can wear colourful clothes. Esp must ve those flower design. Black,grey,dark colour is a "no no" colour. I ve been scolded many times until now i only dare to wear red,pink,yellow if going out with them 3. His parents are too obey/ care other peoples opinion esp his relatives. So i must follow and bullied by all his relatives. Sometimes i feel that his relatives is too unreasonable, like when i bring my daughter to their home, and my daughter keep crying, they will blame on me that i m the one who causing my child to become like this(scare when seeing stranger). I didnt educate or teach my child properly. But as I know, my daughter only cry each time meet them (husband's relatives). When i bring my daughter to see my friends/relatives, they all like her so much as my daughter is a very sweet girl. She let them carry and even play happily with them all One thing that make me heartbreak is his relatives never treat my daughter good, the very last time when i visited his stupid relatives, i found out my daugher had a long scar at her right hand and even i can see the fresh blood. I dont know how they force to carry or touch her but what i know is I HATE them so much. I feel so helpless, what should i do now. Talk to my husband is useless.

4 Replies

VIP Member

Oh dear. Sorry to hear this. You been keeping it to yourself. Please communicate with your hubby, let him know what you are facing. Traditional family? You didn’t bring to meet his relatives often that’s why lo will cry? Baby is more familiar with your friends and relatives? Right? Tbh this is normal reaction , it really depends on the character. Not because of you dear. My lo will cry whenever see grandpa & my brother back then. Grandpa is fine now but not brother even after a year ish :) now lo still kinda scared, cos don’t really see him often too. I would definitely confront then but very firmly. Who wouldn’t feel hurt!!

Don’t blame yourself or anything. Even though u visit often once a week or once a month but lo May not like them to carry. it’s normal. My lo doesnt like it too. :) my aunt also sometimes will visit me, but lo will cry / fuss whenever try to carry. I feel your hubby should understand your part. I would say my point out literally. Can’t be possible Everyday to visit his sides right? You have house chores, take care of lo etc it’s already busy enough. And also i will give a point like, “what makes u think that it’s only our child? It’s depends on each baby’s character & personality too. Doesn’t mean I visit often, kid would ok to let them carry? Or kid jz simple don’t feel secure ? Or kid don’t feel any connection with them? Or kid can sense smth? Kids are smart they know. 😁😆

VIP Member

It happened to my side relatives instead of my hubby side. They just need to be respected so much but they forgot respect is to be earned. Everyday ask my mum to "teach" us for nothing. Hate them so much. My hubby never allowed me to bring the baby along whenever we have gathering with them because these aunties never said good things about my family. So they never see my baby in real person. They are just BIAS. Most of the time we will ignore them when meet up and only talk to those who are friendly.

How i wish i could do that. But i ve no choice, everytime I need to greet them one by one or else they will say that i dont ve manner.

VIP Member

I’m really sorry you need to experience this. But you need to talk to your husband about it. If anyone hurts my lo, I’ll sure trash it out. Be it accidental or purposely

I talked to my husband before. And he blamed on me also.

VIP Member

A child is not meant to be there to "perform" for the relatives. I feel for you but hope one day you will solve the issues and be happy

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