Berpantang sendiri dgn suami

Question

Mummy boleh share tak pengalaman berpantang sendiri macam mana masa anak sulung dulu?Saya ni due lambat lg bulan 7, tapi dah serabut jgk fikir bab nak pantang mana, siapa jaga etc.. Haritu saya share plan saya pd suami, tak confirm pun lg. Saya cakap nak senang biar saya bersalin dekat sini jee tak payah balik kampung. Tak susahkan dia nak kena hantar saya balik kampung lepas tu drive jauh2 balik rumah sewa kami sorang2. Nanti ibu datang lah duduk rumah sewa kami seminggu lepas saya bersalin. Then kita berpantang laa sendiri.. (saya tak bincang pun lg dgn ibu saya utk dtg teman saya berpantang dekat sini berapa lama sbb sejak ibu saya dah kahwin baru ni byk aktiviti dia dekat kampung mcm kelas mengaji al quran dan agama, solat jemaah dekat masjid dll. Dia pun selalu cakap syg nak tinggal lama2 kelas tu. Jd saya pun random jelah cakap seminggu mak jaga dkt suami saya.) Suami saya pulak tah knp dia pergi cerita benda yg tak confirm lg yg kami bincang berdua dekat mak ayah dia. Lepas tu mula lah mertua saya nii risau. Dia cakap tak kena kalau ibu saya jaga seminggu je pastu nak pantang sendiri, belum ada pengalaman anak pertama. Nanti suami pergi kerja, bahaya tinggal sorang dgn baby dlm tempoh berpantang. Pastu mak mertua cerita dia dulu berpantang tidur malam pun mak ayah teman sekali, tak biar berdua je dgn baby takut kena kacau angin meroyan apa tah. Saya jadi geram jgk, pandai ajar itu ini tp takde pun offer nak tolong jaga saya dekat sini. Mmg tak lah kot dia nak offer tidur rumah sewa kami seminggu  dua. Masa duduk rumah sewa dkt Selangor dulu 2 tahun (masa baru kahwin), sekali pun tak pernah singgah bila dorang dtg KL walhal dah dekat. #firstmom #Needadvice

Soraya Rayboot · Answer

Aww mama, I totally get the frustration! A few of us in my circle did berpantang sendiri dengan suami after first baby, and honestly it works fine, the key is realistic planning and your suami being on board, which sounds like he is lah. My biggest advice: don't worry so much about what MIL thinks right now, focus on what works for YOUR family and YOUR ibu's actual availability, bukan random seminggu estimate. Once baby comes you'll naturally know what help you need and when. The "kena kacau angin" worries were real for our parents' generation, but as long as you rest properly, have your suami helping, and check in with your doctor if something feels off, you and baby will be fine, most of us pantang sendiri with just our husbands bringing masak, doing night feeds together, etc. Maybe sit down with your suami first and agree on what you both actually need (like, does ibu come for 2 weeks instead? Does suami take leave?), THEN update MIL with the confirmed plan, sometimes in-laws worry less when they see it's a solid arrangement, not vague plans!

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