6 Replies
I started trying for my second child when my firstborn had started walking and able to communicate with me her basic needs and understands us. The thoughts of having the number of children was determined before marriage as we had to plan our finances and how are we going to bring up our children. Along the way we also explored how to keep the firstborn entertained and taught before I got pregnant just so that she would not feel left out and something was out of the ordinary. We also had to speak and teach the same discipline in preparing her for sibling. We do not believe in buying gifts and tell her is from her sibling but taught her and guided her on how to embrace a new addition to our family. Besides that we also had to look into the caregiving support. Do we have the means to care for 2 children at the same time or the eldest had to be childcare so that the focus can be on the newborn? Are there any help you can get should you need to return to work or care for the child should the child fall sick? IF accident happens, just embrace the pregnancy and take things as it comes.
I'm a mother of 2 and their age difference is 1.5 years. If I could turn back time, I would have my 2nd one when my 1st is 3-4 years old. This is the age when the 1st will become more sensible and can communicate better, so it's easier to teach him to share with and care for his sibling. The common problems all siblings at all ages face are not sharing toys and hitting each other. When he's at least 3 years old and he hits his sibling, you can explain to him why he can't do that and he can understand. Vice versa, he can tell you properly why he hits his sibling. Currently my 1st (2.5 yo) keeps snatching things away from the 2nd (1 yo) and even hits the 2nd, and when we tell him not to do it, he keeps crying because he doesn't understand us and we don't understand him why he keeps crying. All of us end up frustrated and short fused. Of course every child is different, but at the minimal, a child at 3 yo can definitely understand and communicate better than a child younger than that.
Thanks mummy for sharing. I am still thinking as I am afraid of not able to cope. Hopefully I can find the courage soon as i would love to have another kid only. As i think 2 is better than 1.. hehe... jia you to all mummies and thanks once again to those who replied. ^_^
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I will start planning for #2 most probably when my #1 is 12-18 months old. I think whether we can cope or not is just in the mind. If you are sure you want, you will be able to do it. Don't stress
I found out my 2nd pregnancy when my 1st child was 1 year old. You'll eventually cope with 2 kids like I do. Haha! All the best! :)