I need help

Hi mummies,i'm currently 35+5 weeks now,not long till delivery.I'm an unwed muslim mum and i have some questions and rants. Firstly,when my family found out that i was pregnant,they told me to abort or even threaten to "spike" me in order for me to abort naturally.They told me that they don't want to care or look after the baby after i deliver which i say that i'm fine with it cause thru out everything i never ask for a single cent from them at all and its not that i'm arrogant or something but they asked me if the father of the child is taking responsibilities by paying the bills and everything which he did,he bought everything for the baby but now they want to take my baby away from me trying to say that we are not financially stable for a baby and that they don't like the baby's father.I admit we had some issues in the past but we worked thru it. Secondly,i'm currently 24,thinking of moving away from my house,away from my siblings and get married to my baby father after confinement,but i'm afraid that my father disagree with the marriage,can i apply for wali hakim if he does not want to be the wali?and what is the process like? thirdly,its regarding medisave.I might not have enough to pay for my own hospital bill but the baby father do.So is he allowed to only pay for the baby only?and do i have to use my father's medisave to pay for my hospital bill?#1stimemom #advicepls

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Sorry to hear what you are going through. My 2 cents worth as follows: 1. Based on what you have said, I would suggest is better to move out. You may seek your MP, MSF or MUIS for lodging or temporary financial assistance. 2. Is better to check with the ROMM or MUIS. Please note that even both of you are married under the Muslim law, your baby is not considered as the legitimate child of your husband even they are biological related. Hence, there will be inheritance issue in future be it estate or CPF monies. However, the baby's father can nominate his CPF monies to the baby. For further details, please check with the MUIS. 3. The Medisave account can only be used to pay for the immediate family. For non-immediate family such as uncle, aunt etc, he/she needs to prove there is insufficient money in his/her account. Therefore, I don't think the baby's father can use his Medisave for payment. You may check or appeal to the CPF Board. As you are due soon, hope you can clear your doubts and get the assistance soon. Take care.

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I have no words for your parents but Insha Allah when they see the baby, their heart & mindset will change? Who knows? For wali hakim, unless your father passed away and you have no brother(s) or paternal uncle(s) or paternal grandfather, yes you can use wali hakim BUT for your case, your father is still alive so die² must be him. Otherwise the nikkah is not valid. This is why some Muslim bride-to-be had no choice but to put up an advertisement in the paper to look for their biological father to be their wali hakim on their nikkah. This part, cannot play². For unwed mums, no you cannot use the baby's father's medisave unless legally married. You can only use yours or your father's. I hope you have a smooth delivery. And may your family reunite when they see the baby. Insha Allah!

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your partner needs to be your spouse in order to use his medisave. for your marriage wise i have no rights to comment but if possible try to win the blessings of your family as that is the best. your family knows how difficult it is to raise up a child that is why they are so harsh to you. think back sis, will u want your baby to follow ur footsteps? if no, then try to think in your parents position. they are wrong to have the intention to get rid of your baby. but im sure they just want the best for you. good luck in everything. i pray the best for you😊

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Thành viên VIP

I've been through the marriage thingy. I got married without my biological father consent and that's because he's no where to be found. He left me when I was 3 years old, the moment he got divorced with my mom and poof gone! MIA. But there's a lot of procedure I have to go through like A LOT. So much money too... I have to pay for advertising on the newspaper and it cost roughly $400 plus exclusive the other procedures 🙄 But alhamdullilah, after all the ups and downs... I got married.

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4y trước

my father is alive too 😅 just that we're more like strangers. and because im under my mom's custody, romm gave me 2 options to find my father or take out some money and advertise.. if he doesn't come down to sign then wali hakim. but i suggest you try to "ambil hati" your family. be good to them and talk things out. don't stress, not good for your unborn baby. pray ok.. everything will be ok soon