Helper

You are the employer so feel free to set boundaries and do what you're most comfortable with. When you want to take care of your child, you should do it. For my helper her main task is to take care of the toddler because there are only few chores to do (light cleaning, laundry, sometimes cooking), and when she's busy doing her chores I'll step in to take care of the toddler. When I feel like it, I take small breaks during my wfh and help her with feeding, bathing, entertaining etc, but by default these are her job. If you offer help I don't think the helper or your husband have any reason to object? And just because she's taking care of your child doesn't mean she can replace the role of a mother, so don't worry about that :)

Your helper should adhere to what you need to do. If you wanna take care of the baby while she does the hsechores, then she should follow. YOU set the rules, NOT her. Be firm otherwise she wont respect you. Of course don't be harsh lah haha. You should carry the baby outside and she carries the stuff. If you can carry some then carry some. She should listen to you. You need to bond with the baby more than her.

I think different families engaged helper for different reasons. It will be better if your husband and you can communicate the expectations and boundaries you all have for the helper. This would help each other to understand the purpose of having the helper as well

Everybody hires their maid for different reasons. Most importantly, have a talk with your husband and just lay out your feelings and thought process while also listening to him and then come to a compromise if you both can’t persuade the other.