Looks like it’s time to bite the bullet and do sleep training:)
No more carrying to sleep, no more yaolan. Only use his cot.
You can read up on the various methods of sleep training (eg. No tears method, check in method, cry it out method), and choose what you feel will suit you and your baby. The important thing is to not give up. Persevere. It’s also okay if baby cries for a while... he will not be emotionally scarred.. and he will soon learn, and sleep time will no longer be a nightmare.
When he wakes up, too, don’t pick him up immediately. At this age, you can afford to wait 5-15 minutes to let him self soothe/self-entertain. He will slowly learn, and will have higher chances of being able to fall asleep/go back to sleep on his own.
My LO started sleep training early (because everything else failed) at 4.5 months. She cried it out. Wasn’t easy to watch (baby monitor), but it got better, and she finally no longer feared her bed after a while. She’s also a super cheerful and happy baby, and now, for naps and sleep, we just put her in bed, walk out and close the door. She goes to sleep on her own:)
Hang in there!