you can try let her bond with your baby while you still on maternity leave and see how it goes. like let her do routines: diaper change, bath, feeding milk and let her know if you have preference steps that you want her to follow. have an open conversation with her and ask questions too so it will ease your mind. for the choking part, it's better for you to send her for first aid course. it will be really useful. (can be expensive though) for bringing out the baby, you can talk to her and let her know if it's okay to let you know first. (i get how you feel when someone bringing out your baby without you) yep IFC is great solution if you want someone that trained for it. but bear in mind, some babies will get sick often in IFC. just make sure to put some balm for their immune system. 1) yes, placement is really hard to get but can try your luck and call the school ask. 2) there will be subsidy. just check on ecda page! 3) don't feel bad if that's what you want. IFC start as early as 2 months and there's some parents send their baby at that age and baby enjoy being in school! (i know this because i'm infant educarer and i used to care for 3 months baby) i don't know if my advice on mil will works but that's the method i'm going to use once my baby is out soon.(might send her to IFC next year because of the placement thingy) i get anxious too thinking about other people taking care of my baby so i am trying to not think too much about it and i hope you dont think too much about it! just be open to her and hope she will be open too, respect and understanding you.
To avoid any conflict I suggest not to let your MIL look after ur baby. As there may be some things you don’t agree with her but you can’t really voice out due to respect OR she may not take in your advice too well (cos she will think she’s the more experienced one). Better still, they like to tell you “ in the past I did this this that “. Like how we are not allowed to feed babies water but they will tell you that they fed baby water in the past and they are doing just fine now. They are just stuck in the past and doesn’t like changes or people telling them what to do. Suggest you let your own mom look after for the time being before considering IFC. I still trust my own mom afterall and my mom is open to changes and advices, most importantly willing to learn for her grandchild. 🤣 of cos not all MILs are the same but just speaking from experience.
there must be a reason why u dont trust your in-laws. if thats the case, suggest u send to IFC aft ML ends. i always hear lotsa conflicts from friends who let in laws or even own parents take care of their bb. due to different era, older generation tends to prefer to still adopt the older ways e.g drink water, close window off fan and wrap bb in thick clothing, start solid early, give hotter milk than prescribed, just use hot water to kill germs after washing bottle etc. even though they have heard of the way things are done differently now and the reasoning behind. its quite agonising when you think they agree with you but you found out they stil do the old ways when you are not around. that hurts the relationship between you guys too.
I feel that there's no good answer to this. IFC means your kid is likely to fall sick often, and you'll need to find adhoc help, eg in laws or your parents, or take leave when that happens. I've seen my nephew keep falling sick at ifc, so it can be quite traumatising. Mil take care means less occasions of falling sick, but you can't control what she does,and honestly,you'll need to close one eye if it doesn't hurt the baby. Simply no good answer imo, not even if u hire a helper or nanny. It's just what you're willing to accept, coz there will be pros and cons either way.
Confinement period is the probation period as it is the hardest. As baby gets older, things are “easier” per se. I guess its normal that you feel insecure about your mil taking care of your baby and the guilt of sending baby to ifc, cause I feel the same too. Maybe you can also try bonding with your mil and build the trusting rapport. It might help.
IFC can use cda to pay
allow flexibility
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