Feeling so alone during pregnancy. Constantly thinking about aborting.

hi mommies. I’m currently 17 turning 18 and my baby is 12 weeks old. the baby was not planned and we found out the worst way possible. I only found out when we broke up hence it’s so complicated. our families let us be the one making the decision. he ( my current partner) didn’t say what he felt but it was so obvious he didn’t want the child nor get back together. I myself couldn’t make the decision till we heard the baby’s heartbeat. But now I’m having my doubts. I’ve never felt more insecure and alone before. This whole relationship feels so fake and disgusting. He would not put in effort to take me out on dates or even going out to eat with my family. He wouldn’t even answer a video call from me. What else wouldn’t he do when the child comes. Knowing that he didn’t even want the child, my biggest fear is him neglecting our child. He is so stingy with money to the point where I’m paying for everything. Every meal. I can’t even pull myself up to go work because of the fatigueness I’m feeling everyday. He is much older and jobless. Together for close to a year and we never once sleep at my house. His plan for the future is “I’m gonna keep $200 every month for the baby” and I can think about is , your expected salary is $2000 and you’re only keeping $200 for our child? I don’t feel the love nor trust in this relationship. I really don’t know what else to do. I know sooner or later he’ll definitely have someone else. Would I be a terrible person if I chose to abort. I love kids but I feel like this is not the right guy for me and my baby. Everyday I’ve been crying like shit. Crying every minute possible.He is not the slightest bit happy bout signing ROM. He acts as if it’s a burden to him. And everyday I feel like I’m a burden to him. pls advice I feel so lost and alone. #newmom #1sttimemom

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Hi darling, sharing from my personal experience who had done medical abortion(pills available for pregnancy before 12 weeks ) and also miscarried before. I get a lot of questions if I have regretted the abortion and I have stand firmed with my decision, I have never regretted the decision nor am I ashamed because I knew exact what I wanted. I am lucky I have a very supportive partner thru-out. He supported my decision to abort even though he wanted children. He didn’t want me to regret in the future and wants me to experience life before committing to changes. My second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it broke me really bad because I am so ready to become a mother. Still, I did not regret the first abortion. I am now in my third pregnancy, week 7 and I’m back with the same gynae who I engaged for the abortion. You need to realise that this baby daddy is not gonna be there for you forever. There is no happiness holding on to someone who doesn’t love you and your child. You need to make decisions on your own, For your own and for your baby. • Ask yourself are you done loving your baby? • Are you ready to become a mother ? • Ask yourself truly, whether you will regret the decision if you choose to abort ? • Are you ready for the life changes when the baby comes? Don’t be afraid to do what’s best for yourself. Choose YOU everyday! 🩷

I agree with the other mummies...you will have to make a decision without your bf in the picture. He has shown himself to be completely unreliable and disinterested in having a child, and it is sadly, very clear that he does not love you as well. You will have to be strong enough to make the decision on your own, whether you choose to stay, keep the baby or abort. There is no shame in choosing any of the choices, but you will have to live with it, and none of it will be easy to bear. I wish to add that even though this guy does not treat you well, it does not mean that you are worth any less, nor are you not worthy to be loved. You are infinitely precious, please remember that you deserve to be respected and loved. Jiayou. I wish you happiness, and hope that you'll choose the best path forward.

Make the decision for yourself, not for him. Since it feels like he doesn’t want to be involved, don’t let him be a consideration for what’s ahead and your future. I am in no position to advise you on what to do with your decisions and your child. What I can advise is, make the decision that you will not regret few years down the road. Getting married and forcing to stay together with a child, your marriage will end up with no light (I won’t say it won’t work for all, but most of it don’t). Take your time, discuss with your family without him being in the picture. Don’t be too bothered by what others will say or judge, regardless of any decision you make, you are responsible for your own decisions not them.

Sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time during your pregnancy. I am currently 31 and 5 weeks pregnant and very excited to be on this journey of motherhood! I also found out unexpectedly that I was pregnant when I was 17 and made the decision to abort. I believe it was done during the first trimester and the decision was unanimous between my partner and I as we were not ready to be parents. Shortly after my then partner and I broke up. Sometimes I do wonder how my life would turn out if I had kept the baby, but I know that the decision of not keeping the baby also allowed me to live my life and explore the world. Whatever decision you make, do it for yourself. Wishing you all the best!

1. Keep baby raise as single mum- think if you are ready, have support from your fam, will you be looking to find another partner as a single mum eventually, will you b able to b working mum? 2. Not have the kid since you are still tri one. But be careful if you drag too long 3. Put up for adoption if you really want to keep but think you can’t support to the best of your ability? Hope this helps xxx you aren’t alone ❤️

If I were you, I will make plans without him in the picture. I will start practicing being a single mom. You will need support. If your family can take care of the baby together with you, I guess you’re going to be alright. Maybe consider visiting a marriage consultant before making any hard decision?

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If u need more support, pls consider calling up safe place. U can find great help there and be able to make a more informed decision. Don’t rush into anything but take time to get help and consider so you won’t have any regrets in future. https://safeplace.org.sg/ All the best! 💪🏼

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