Tamad magwork si husband

Question

Mommies, how can I convinced my husband na maghanap na ng work?Since September 2022 pa sya walang work. Im pregnant with our second and usapan namin, nung January, maghahanap na sya ng work dahil pinalipas nya muna holiday season. Mag june na and wala pa syang work. Ubos na savings nya at ako ngayon ang pinipilit nya mag ipon (i have work, wfh) pampaanak ko sa October (Repeat CS, at magastos talaga).Naiinis na ako pero ayoko stressin sarili at kawawa naman ang pinagbubuntis ko. Sinasabihan ko na sya pero, oo lang sya ng oo. May mga nag ooffer ng referrals, pero inaantay talaga nya. Hindi sya umaalis ng bahay para maghanap ng work. Gusto nya, trabaho ang lalapit sa kanya.Mapili din sa trabaho. (He worked in a call center before) at gusto nya, sa new work nya.. Work from home, non voice (di nagtatawag) at malaki sahod. Yung mga prospect companies naman nya, di sya pumasa. Nakakapanlumo na sya. Madali sabihin ng iba na Iwan mo na yan, umuwi ka na lang sa family mo. Lalo na at kung hindi sila lumaki sa isang broken family. We promised sa harap ng altar na for better or worse, magsasama kami kaya ayokong gawin option ang iwan sya. I believe that he is in his trying times and hindi tamang iwan ko sya. Kaya, hanggat maaari, maging last option ko to. Kaso, nahihirapan na rin ako. Btw, he is also addicted with online games. Kaya isa din sa factor na nakikita ko na ayaw magwork.Also, nakatira kami sa bahay ng parents nya. At isa din siguro sa factor kaya tamad sya ngayon. Di sya kino confront ng parents nya (he is only child). Please, i need an advice what should I do.  #advicepls

Maria Reyes Garcia · Answer

Mama, this is such a heavy situation, and I feel for you talaga, especially with another baby coming in October and you carrying both the financial and emotional load. Honestly, this sounds like it goes beyond just job hunting; the gaming addiction, the lack of accountability from his parents, and the waiting-for-perfect-job mentality are all feeding into each other, kaya kailangan mo ng real conversation with him, not just reminders. A few of my mum friends have been in similar spots, and what actually moved their husbands was setting a concrete deadline together, like "by end of July you need to have applied to X number of jobs" or "you're taking the next offer that fits these basics, not waiting for the perfect one", because sometimes guys need that structure to snap out of it. The gaming and living with his parents without boundaries are probably the bigger issue than the job market itself, so maybe couples counseling could help him hear you better than just you saying it over and over? I know you want to stand by him, but you also need to protect yourself and your baby, your stress right now isn't good for your pregnancy, so please talk to your OB about managing this stress, and maybe consider talking to your own family or a trusted person about what's really sustainable for you.

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