Maybe ive lost all hope

i'm a young mom w c&c of my kid (4yo). ive been feeling down n suicidal recently. theres no specific reason, but rather an accumulation of everything that has happened to me. honestly, the only reason im still here is because of my kid. and its a vicious cycle, i think about how if i'm gone its gonna affect my LO, then i get more depressed then i think of LO then it repeats. my current relationship is of no help too, my partner only makes me feel worse about myself and constantly put me down. My parents don't know whats going on and they will never understand. honestly i dont think my depression ever went away during my pregnancy up till today. Im really struggling everyday, i cant afford to see a counsellor or therapist. i'm earning a 1k job for myself n my kid. im rly at wits end.