Hello there,
Thank you for opening up about your feelings. You're definitely not alone in experiencing such emotions, and I understand how tough it can be. Let me share some thoughts and suggestions that might help you navigate through this.
Firstly, it's great to hear that your postpartum rage (PP rage) has started to subside. That's a positive step forward. The disconnect with your firstborn, however, can be deeply troubling and confusing. Postpartum emotions can be very complex, and what you're feeling is more common than you might think.
Here are some possible steps that may help:
1. **Acknowledge Your Feelings**: It's important to recognize and accept what you're feeling without guilt. Motherhood brings immense changes, and it's okay to have mixed emotions. Give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling.
2. **Seek Professional Help**: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor specializing in postpartum issues. They can provide you with strategies and tools to manage your emotions and rebuild the connection with your firstborn.
3. **Spend Quality Time**: Try to spend some one-on-one time with your firstborn. It doesn't have to be long or elaborate; even simple activities like reading a book together or going for a short walk can help rekindle your bond.
4. **Self-Care**: Don't forget to take care of yourself. Ensuring you're getting enough rest, nutrition, and personal time is crucial. Sometimes, when we're overwhelmed, it can affect how we relate to others, including our children.
5. **Join Support Groups**: Consider joining a support group for mothers who might be experiencing similar feelings. Sharing your experiences and hearing others can provide comfort and new perspectives.
Since you mentioned not feeling tired and your second child being relatively easy-going, it might also be helpful to ensure you're getting the right support for your own well-being. If you're open to trying supplements that can support both pregnant and breastfeeding mothers, you might find this product beneficial: [Supplements for Pregnant and Breastfeeding Mothers](https://invl.io/cll7h72).
Remember, it's a journey, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You're doing the best you can, and that's all that matters. Take it one day at a time, and give yourself grace.
Wishing you all the best on this path to reconnecting with your firstborn. You are a wonderful mother, and your love for your children shines through your concern.
Take care.
https://invl.io/cll6she