How to forgive my cheating husband

I'm lost and depressed after discovering my husband of 17yrs had cheated on me during his overseas work trip recently. At first i found out he went those KTV with hostess due to business needs. I was so upset that he didnt confessed, he sweared there is no sexual engagement or any intimacy during 2-3 visits. I convinced myself ans forgave him. Somehow i feel that he is overly remorseful over this KTV incident and seems to be hiding more. I saw his search history those called girls/hookers during the days he was overseas and even checked for "risk of getting HIV with protected sex". I confronted him and he refused to admit at first, he finally owned up after being countered by my questionings and slapping. I'm thinking of getting a divorce cos this is not his first time betraying my trust. 10yrs ago, he had an affair and i chose to forgive him as my daughter was still young. During these 10yrs, my wound is not fully healed but he has become a better husband and father and i gave birth to my younger boy. In many people's eyes, we are a happy family of 4. Our marriage life have been wonderful. I never expect he will betray me again after 10yrs and i'm very deeply hurt. He told me he is really remorseful for this and beg me not to divorce with him and give him a final chance. I dont know if i can still continue my life with him as the images of him and the hooker keep replaying. I tell myself just go for divorce but i have no confident if i can handle my kids without him by my side. Anyone here with similar experience can share some advice? What will be your decision if you are in my shoe? Thank you.

Vô danh

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It depends on what’s your bottom line. For me, cheating is a no. If he loved you and the family enough, he wouldn’t have cheated on you regardless 10 years ago or now. My bil cheated on my sister twice during their marriage and despite asking for a last chance just 2 years back, he cheated again a few months back. It takes a cheater to stop a cheater (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to cheat. It’s just that I feel you’re probably not the one that would make him change for good judging from what he has done to you.) Do you have any family members you can turn to for assistance? Like to help out with your kids while you work or when you need to leave work later on certain days. End of the day, please make the decision for yourself and not for your kids. It will be hard, but you’ll brave thru this. I personally didn’t forgive my mum for cheating on my dad (thrice) and im glad he found someone better for him.

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