Stress

Just don’t do don’t plan . If her face becomes black , use your husband as a shield and say that he wants 100 days ( I think you should tell him you will use him as a shield, so if anything were to happen he will need to handle his own mom which I think is fair enough). Tell her in the face no money , you will only do it if you have sponsors . Which means you are telling her indirectly to pay for it if she wants it . I feel that by doing that you’ll help you , your husband and your child in a long run and she will understand you are the one taking charge of the finance part . This kind of tradition is really annoying .

I kind of understand what you are going through... What me and my wife do is whenever her parents say anything we do not agree, we would tell her parents that my wife say dont want to do etc.. Kinda blame it on my wife.. Same thing if my parents wanna do or say something we do not agree, we would say its my idea to not do it or rather i do not want to do it. It works well. Cause end of day, my parents will just nag and i just dont care. It boils down to one thing.. Our kid our way.. They can advise etc, but please understand and respect that its our decision and it's our kids. FULLSTOP

Sending you hugs :) I think you have to stand firm because I feel that the moment you give in, she’ll expect that of you every other times. Other than 1st month celebration, there are many other traditions that other generations believe in, like shaving bald on 1st month then feeding some biscuits/chicken on 4th month or using rice wine to apply on baby’s bald spot etc. You can get your husband to be own your side so it’s easier for him to reject his mother. Personally if MIL black face and ignore me and leave my child alone, I’ll be more than happy.

I would try to get my spouse to intervene since its his mother. I personally feel that if you give her face now, she might want things to be done her way in the future. I had a similar situation whereby my mil wanted to do things her way but i insisted not to as im the childs mother and she evetually stopped trying to force me to follow her ways. I strongly believe that it is up to the parents to decide anything pertaining to the child.

Did u guys find out why she's so against 100 days celebration? I feel the older generation still prefer 1 month celebration as opposed to 100 days mainly because it's traditionally associated to funerals... Maybe can try explaining to her in another way that 100 days celebration also means 百岁宴 wishing the baby can live till 100 years old. Sometimes it's a lot of superstition and just depends how people see it.

Actually what's the cultural significance or meaning of doing 100days? I understand full moon is to celebrate both baby and mother's survivals after confinement which is critical period during older days. But what about 100days? Is it marketing gimmick again? I don't do both and no plan for my next baby too. Maybe just a small reunion dinner with immediate family members to celebrate the arrival of our new member.

Hi, I wanted to do 100days initially as well, but when my in-law request for us to send full month gifts to relatives and friends at 1st month I decided to just do at 1st month after all. You can maybe consider to suggest that to your mil if the idea works for you. Just a suggestion for consideration. Importantly, enjoy and have a great celebration regardless on when it's held. ❤

then just for the sick of her wish 1 month old for close family then 100 days as a party, then explain 1month bb very easily to get sick cos of the immunity still weak and told her tat for ur wish will open close direct family for her (tell until super for her make her feel happy), in de end still in law and in future u still need her around.

Same as me... What we did was to go ahead with the traditions (whatever she said are) but the celebration we follow our decision. We told her, 1 month too young what if she Kenna virus from all the people attending? Out of concern for the baby, most elderlies will agree. If your main concern is on financials and time, can try this.

Get your MIL to fork out everything lor for 1st month if she keep on insisting since you alrdy explain to her about your concerns regarding financial matters. Quickly move out from staying with in laws if can. It brings more harm than good, no matter how good and nice our in laws are. I've learn it the hard way.