truth be told i felt exactly the same as you before i delivered. super worried about the pain and what would go wrong delivery day and life with a baby.
during that time i tried my best not to overthink. whenever i feel the panic, i wrote down messages to my baby in the phone notes. that made me feel better. i also share my worries to the husband so that he knows when he needs to step up when i am feeling vulnerable. my husband told me to focus on thinking of what i will missed the most when baby is here. one of which was going to the movie theatre. so then we went to watch movie 2 days before my c section. dont just think of the bright side, do things that help you to relax too.
i am currently two weeks post partum via elective c sect. the pain is bearable i can assure you. what matters more to me was that baby is safe and healthy. i can focus on rest and recovery bcos of my confinement nanny now. so i have unlocked new fears on what life will be like after nanny leaves..
as for the heavy responsibility and commitment that our brains wired us to overthink as first time mom.. my nanny saw how eager i was to learn everything. she told me to take it slow.
it is not as daunting and scary if you just take a day at a time and master a new skill at a time.
just know that you are doing great as a first time mom. focus on caring for yourself so that you are well enough to care for your baby. press on you can do it too! you are not alone in this journey.
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