Anak, this is heavy and I'm glad you're thinking it through carefully, hindi ito decision na dapat mabilis. Pero honestly, I have to say: this isn't really a "which guy" question, it's a "what do I need for myself" question , and that's the one you need to answer first before choosing either. A few of us mums in our circle have been in similar spots, and the pattern we've seen is, kapag nag-jump tayo from one person to another without fixing what's broken inside us first , we end up repeating the same hurt, just with different faces. Both situations make you feel needed in ways that aren't healthy , your ex made you the provider while he struggled, your current one wants you small and dependent. Neither one is actually meeting you as a whole person who deserves peace AND security AND emotional safety AND to be valued. You deserve all four, hindi ka dapat mag-pick between them. Before you decide, maybe talk to someone you really trust, or even a counselor if you can, about what you actually need to feel whole, independent of what either man can offer. Because right now, it sounds like your heart and mind are pulled in different directions, at ikaw ang nasisirang-sira. That's the real issue, hindi kung sino ang pipiliin. You're strong, you're a provider, you're thoughtful, pero you also need to be loved as you are, not despite your situation. Kaya mo yan.