You are not alone. Baby was on occasional latch, EBM & FM. Took me awhile to accept her. I don’t reject her, just that it feels like I’m doing because I gave birth and it’s my responsibility. Especially when I’m super tired and I’m the main caregiver, it’s even more frustrating and I wonder why did I play myself out.
Even when baby was in me, I didn’t feel the connection. Baby is baby, me is me. It wasn’t love at first sight for me either, immediately after I gave birth, I felt like sh!t (weak and uncomfy) and I didn’t want to see her at all. Even when the nurse passed me baby right after birth, I’m like please leave me alone.
I would say it takes time and more bonding to enjoy the motherhood. Baby will definitely recognise you as mummy so don’t worry too much about that. Initial months if you realize baby only smiles and laugh towards other but not you, it is also normal because they see you as themselves.
Let nature takes its course, your love will eventually grow for him and by the time you even realize, he became your entire world, your life. My baby is 21m now and she comes to me first (regardless of happy or when she’s upset) instead of anyone else.
Since there are extra pair of hands now, take this time to recuperate your body instead. 😊