I am a SAHM with 2 kids. I left my high pay job to care for my child as we are unable to find a good nanny nor helper and we got no help from our parents. At the beginning, I am still using my own saving from family expanse so there is no attitude change in my hubby. The moment I start getting household allowance he started to give me black face. He never help out in the house or make decisions for kids by giving excuse like he respect all my decisions but will start showing me his black face when I don't see eye to eye on his "opinion or decision". For example, he want to see his parents on one Sunday and I told him I will prefer to stay at home to rest due to the sleepless night as my kid is teething. He will say ok but start showing black face or talk to me rudely until I give in. He also stop communicating with me saying that he don't understand my "housewife" mindset or complaining that I talk to him at wrong hours. But there is never a time to talk to him at all. For example, he told me not to discuss anything with him before he go to work, on his way to work, during his work time, during his lunch time, right after he come home, while he is eating or playing his phone nor before he sleep. Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our girls and visiting his parents every week. (I don't really like to visit my in-laws as they did the same to me right after I resigned to be a housewife.) If I don't, he will start shout and showing me "black face" again. With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' Wife and start belittle my characters. I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do?

Vô danh

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Get a job and send your children to childcare or get a helper or nanny. If your hubby still belittles you, say goodbye to him! It's easier said than done. However, u do not deserve such nonsensical man!

I'm sorry to say.. But u do not have the rights to ban your kids from seeing your PIL. This is disrespect! And I suggest u should go back to work, put kids in Cc, problem solved!

Thành viên VIP

Why don’t you just stay at your parents house in the meantime. If you can’t tahan your hubby’s attitude anymore. He thinks raising a child is easy?! Then switch role

That attitude is a manifestation of insecurity. He's trying to act like that to cover up for his shortcomings. He wants to come out strong despite his failures.

Understand your frustration. He could be feeling stress up being the sole bread winner. Find a chance to dress up and have a date together without your kids. It may help. :)

Vô danh

8y trước

I asked and suggested but rejected by him. He said I am too negative to talk to and he got a lot of things to do. However, he got time to call his "dream girl" to listen and tell her what to do during pregnancy while I got to do my regular checkup on my own. He don't allow me to call him even because of my kids are sick,

Thành viên VIP

Communication is key. You take care of the house and he brings in the dough. Both deserve respect and both have their needs. A bit too premature to talk divorce

Don't think it's a good idea to ban your kids from seeing your pil. maybe you want to try going for marriage counselling. At least have someone to act as a mediator.

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Vô danh

8y trước

What if your kids tell you that her grandfather touch her inappropriately? What will you do if you FIL did the same to you when he is drunk too with your mil around who does not stop her own husband but tell you that it is just a touch, you got nothing to lose?

that "high pay job". you should find home based job. para may napapaglibangan ka pang iba habang nasa bahay ka at the same time nababantayan mo mga anak mo.

If it's not life threatening, a divorce should not even be an option. No one knows your situation better then you.

ibang klase sis. but i guess u should have a job. di ka mapagmamalakihan nyan if he knows you can be independent.

8 Replies

Home Random Talk i sahm with 2 kids i left high pay job care child unable find good nanny nor helper got help from parents beginning i still using own saving from family expanse there attitude change in hubby moment i start getting household allowance started give black face never help out in house make decisions kids giving excuse like respect decisions but start showing black face when i dont see eye eye opinion decision example want see parents sunday