depressed
I am pregnant. 3 months. being emotional lately. need to live separately with my husband cause i cant stand the smell in his family house. futhermore he got a job there. and fyi, his mom doesnt like me at all. its like I'm not her favourite daughter-in-law since I'm married with his son. maybe its too ealry for us cause both of us were 22. and i dont have a job, my husband wont allow me. Semalam, abg dia akad nikah. Meriah sgt. Tp tak dapat join sbb husband tak bg, takut penat. Bila MIL hantar gambar dlm group, bila tgok, muka dia nampak happy sgt, ye la menantu cantik, degree bakal doktor, wedding meriah. back then i remember my akad nikah was soo simple, cause both of us cant afford too much. i heard that they even clean the house nak sambut kedatangan org baru. but mine, its nothing. i need to clean the whole house. Dgn periuk nasi berkulat tak basuh, dapur kotor. Tak pernah cerita ni kat sesiapa. i cried. and tell to my husband bout this. but he seems not really care. he told me that i was being jealously too much. Yes, jealous memang ada. Saya nk jadi yang terbaik utk mak dia. Tp diri saya ni byk kekurangn. Dah la muda lagi, ada diploma je, got no job. MIL selalu cari salah saya, pernah dia kata, dia sebenarnya tak sokong kahwin awal. Actually, saya ni parents bercerai dari umur 8 tahun, ingat kn bila dh kahwin ni dapat la tumpang kasih, nak merasa macam mana hidup sebumbung ada parents. But seems nothing, lagi sakit dari parents bercerai. Mmg betul2 terasing. Da la adik bradik husband semua lelaki. Memang betul la, expect nothing. And nasib baik sekarang tak tggl situ tenang sikit, tapi bila teringat balik, sedih rasa. And husband takde kat sisi ni buat rasa mcm lonely sgt. Nk menangis call dia, takut dia penat layan. Nanti dia tak pujuk, jadi makan hati. Hm But nanti kenduri kena mai sana. Macam mana nak hadap ? betul2 perlukan kekuatan.
