I have been married 17 years now and have 2 lovely boys. I have decided to head for a separation n eventually divorce. Any mummies here with tips on how to slowly deal with sharing news with my 2 boys? 1 is 7, other 13...

I know of a friend who has 3 kids. Married for 12 years, lids aged 2, 4 and, 6. When they decided to go ahead with the divorce. They sat the kids down and explained to them. Things were not working out, and what would be happening. At the moment the kids stared blankly, however try as much as you both can to stay calm and collected. You need time, so will the kids. The key here is "time" meanwhile keep them close, keep thier routine as stable as possible, nothing big to go on for them. We try to minimize the trauma instead of aggravating it further. As tough as it is going to be, its best for you to talk to the children. Im not saying it would definitely work out, but during this crucial period we should be open about it. There is no perfect way to break the news, there will just be pieces of tips here and there to cushion you once in a while. Take care mummy, my thoughts and well wishes are with you.

Is it really an ultimate move to go on separation? Of course I understand you must have gone through a lot and think a lot before coming to this decision but could there be anymore chances to keep this marriage going? Perhaps try seeking professional help? Try counselling? As your boys age are older and they could have and might have already know what's going on in the family, so sit down and tell them how you feel. I'm sure they would understand you if they do feel how u feel. It's tough being an woman!! Please

Read "Putting Children First" Proven Parenting Strategies for helping children thrive through divorce. Basically how long your child suffer depend on how amicable your marriage ended. If it is a high conflict situation, child suffer the most. The book is available in a lot of libraries.

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