Parenting technique?

Hi I am feeling very depressed and confused about my parenting technique. My child goes to student care and my hubby doesn’t like her to go there as he perceived that going there her friends gave bad influence to her. My girl is quiet outside but opposite when she is at home with us. She becomes more demanding on the things she wants. My hubby tells me that I need to beat her when she doesn’t obey. I prefer to talk nicely eventually I would raise my voice if she doesn’t listen. I hate the fact that whenever it comes to kids issue we would fight and the whole night will be miserable with my girl crying and my hubby would hurl vulgarities and compares me with other woman. He is a foreigner and would say his country ladies are better than me. I feel very hurt. I feel being verbally abused. I have a happy and peaceful family background with no vulgarities. My parents were loving. It’s unfortunate for me not to have such relationship. His family background is full of jealousy and hurling vulgarities when they are angry. For everything I and my family do he will say we spoil my girl. I feel that too much of discipline will make them feel outside world is better. Why do we need to always beat the child. It’s so miserable I feel. There should be a better way. She is becoming rebellious and rude. I do not want that. What should I do?