Honestly, I feel your frustrations and heartache. Not easy to handle 3 children and in law especially your youngest is only 5 mths old. It is hard to set a routine so that you can get some rest but somehow, it didnt work out. My eldest, 5 yo, has been very trying too. She would be fighting, snatching things or shout loud loud to her bro. My mil is the primary caregiver with my helper. To stop them from making noise, she gives them gadgets or switched on tv. Very convenient way for her. So now, I am using affirmations and reward stickers. Despite moments which she might be shouting or anything, I will find anything that is good (deaf to the bad). I affirm her and present her with a reward sticker (make it a great deal). Then i also strike a deal with her that she must not shout (for eg), if i check with mil and maid that she has been really good, another sticker. Accumulative stickers eg 5 will have a small reward. It works on my gal as it gratifies and stokes her ego. I cant change or talk back to my mil so I can only make my child change the way she behaves.
Don't give in whenever they throw tantrums. Sit down & plan a time-table together. Be firm that screen time is limited daily & only given after work is completed. Always try to catch him doing right things, eg. if he finishes his homework or play well with sister, give affirmation. Never punish or worse, hit our kids when we are "boiling" ourselves. I do cane once in a while for more serious acts of defiance but I use it only after I have calmed down & could explain to them the reason why the act warrants caning. Always try to remind myself the child always learn more from our acts as role model. If we shout a lot, why can't they shout at home too? MIL issue is the hardest. We can't control how they respond to our kids & sometimes, hard to convince them to do things our way without offending them. Have you considered putting him in student care after school? I think better than watching TV all day long.
There are usually many factors to look at when dealing with a child. Children do things in various ways to get our attention. Was there any big change or happenings recently, this could be one of the contributing factors. Personally I believe children are harmless and thus if there is an episode of negative behaviour, the best thing I would do and recommend others would be to go back to basic. Children are very sensitive, they are able to feel our vibes. Thus we need to constantly keep ourselves in check. There are many reasons as to why the child is behaving in such a manner. Be patient, they could be going through something which we are not aware of. More often then not if the situation is handled correctly this stage will pass. Then again advise I could give would be limited as others are not present during the happenings. Back to basic, mothers know best. Hope this helps.
Hi. Is your hubby helping in looking after and disciplining your kids? Grandparents tend to give in to whatever their grandchildren asks. As they say, parents disciple while grannies spoil :-) Perhaps your eldest is acting out and wants more of your attention. How about in your free time, you have a date with him. Take him somewhere just the two of you and have a talk. You can also schedule some time with him exclusively in the evenings, maybe 1 or 2 hours.
ParentTown interviewed Shanti Chainani, Wellness Trainer from Royal Academy Pte Ltd, on how to practice positive parenting! Here's the link - Click on TV more for episodes :) http://parenttown.com/topic/tv-positive-parenting-what-the-heck-is-it
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