24 Replies
i am at the exact same spot as u are babe. basically, i had to miscarriaged too and I've stop working for 1 mth plus due to pantang and need time to recover mentally and physically. i went back to work after 1plus mths there (im self employed), but get to know that im preg after 1 week of working. Too lethagic and having bad isomnia, my hub was the one who asked me to stop working asap. after only working for 2 mths plus, i had to stop and was on bedrest till now due to preg complications as my work i have travel alot and have to carry heavy materials from 1 location to another with no own trp. my hub only earns btwn $1000-$1400 per mth , we stay in a rented hdb house with a cat. so basically his earnings only enough for the both of us as i usually pay for my cat needs. after paying of bills such as housing, both our hp bills, parents money, my monthly money and other needs we barely have enough for baby prep. we havent got anything prepared,only bby clothes that we could afford for now. yes, i do get worried but i believe that everything will turn out fine and me and hub been winning vouchers and freebies lately, and it really helps with my baby preps! and even my parents in law are receiving wealth from diff platform (cpf etc), and they are showering us with all sorts of baby gifts! and now even hub gets a raised! n old saying say, baby will bring u livelihood, income, subsistence, sustenance, food, nourishment, good fortune
Hello mummy, I supposed we're on the same page here. Except that this is my first pregnancy (heheh). I was told to leave my job as I couldn't 'control' my morning sickness. Well, another issue about why I cannot 'control' is that I'm allergic to the medicine and therefore, I wasn't given medications to treat my nauseating and dizziness. I got to know I was pregnant in the same week of my first week of work! The symptoms were getting bad as days goes by and it's hard to me to adapt to it since these are all new to me. They then decided that I should leave the job and then said that why didn't I declare my pregnancy during the signing of contract despite after telling them that it happened when I've already started working! No doubt, I was heartbroken when they told me I had to leave. My husband sees this as an opportunity for me to stay at home and told me to focus on my pregnancy since it's our first. I can relate how you feel on letting it all on your husband because I feel the same too! It hurts me more when he insisted on going to work despite the fact that he's unwell ☹️ We should thankful for having such wonderful man as a husband because not all men understands. Please don't be sad. Everything will be fine ❤️
Hi mommy congrats on ur pregnancy!! There is actually never a right time for such life changing matters. Don’t feel guilty! Like my hubby always said, money can always be earned in the future haha. What’s most important now is that your hubby and you take care of each other. Everyone has a role to play and now your role is to have a healthy marriage & pregnancy and prepare for parenthood. In this way, you can help guide your hubby in this wonderful but oh so difficult journey. Do rmb that it’s co-parenthood and if he doesn’t feel the need to takeover your role (which he can’t), you shouldn’t feel the need to play the same role as him too. Your role is no mean feat too! I can tell you from my experience that mommies have it way more difficult haha. Most of the expenses for the first year are once off purchases and you can help by sourcing for good deals or even better look for hand me downs! You can also take this time to plan how to manage the finances when baby is born. E.g. vaccinations can be done at polyclinic since it is cheaper, what you can do with baby bonus Anyways hiring a nanny or ifc costs money too. So this is a portion saved too! Happy mama = happy baby! Jiayou!
hi mummy. do trust your husband :) my bf quit his FT job, and worked as a packer daily paid,while i am working flexi at airport. all is well as we still can survive. till we found out im pregnant at 24weeks. things got harder. kicked out of our rental place, savings lessen everyday. so we moved in with my bf's brother. things got rougher. he had to stop working the packer job as its too far (woodlands to changi airfreight). i had to take unpaid leave (no ML benefits for flexi) at 30+weeks onwards as i keep having blackouts. so technically both of us is unemployed. 1 week before edd, he got a new FT job but its too taxing and far (Jurong Island). he still went for work. however he had to quit 1 day before edd bc no one is able to take care of me after delivery and he cant take so many unpaid leave and PL (not married) so he start doing grab food delivery for our survival. i stay home till now. all those times, i rmbr how much i broke down bc im worried, like you. and all those time too, he reassured me all is gonna be alright. i trust him, bc thats what partners do :) stay strong, mummy. everything's gonna be alright ♥️
Hi mummy to be, I’m currently not working as well bc I had to go for unpaid maternity leave from the moment I found out I’m pregnant, due to my job requirements. My husband is the only one working and supporting us both. I’m due very soon, and so far we have been able to cope. Indeed, it hasn’t been easy. But we have to make do. Think of it as a silver lining that god blessed you with a baby at the time when you were just about to get the job. Maybe a much better job offer will come your way once baby is here. I always feel bad too about my husband working so hard for us, but thankfully our husbands are sincere in doing what’s best for us. And I feel that itself is such a blessing as well. Focus on keeping baby and yourself healthy. Don’t worry too much. I’m sure everything will turn out well for you. Better days are coming mummy. All the best!
Honestly im something similiar as you. Im those kind of woman that couldn't stand when im not working and have to rely financially on my s/o. so last year i left my job and trying to find a new one before the lockdown ended up i got pregnant and been rejected for every job i apply since then. Mental health was unstable as i stress myself because i have to rely on my hubby for everything. He had to constantly convince me that it was ok during my 1st and 2nd trim. Im still a temporary home maker as baby is still small, so i ended up doing a mini online business so i can earn a little income once in awhile to feel less stressful. But what i can say is, please consider your health first, you can work after baby is around 2-3 months ( can put infant care) Find a hobby that is safe during your pregnancy period to release stress, that what i do to prevent myself to fall back to depression
Im one of the lucky ones who is unemployed too! At that point i had just gotten my diploma and was offered a better position but as soon as they found out about my pregnancy, they gave a common reply “we will get back to you”. They even told me not to worry about my pregnancy as they do their best to cater to my needs. Of course i got so upset but i believe better things are coming my way and God made it easy for both me and my husband! Im helping my husband a little bit by doing online business so it did help us along the way with our expenses. Guess until today after my baby is born, im still thinking if i should go back to work and miss my baby’s every first achievements or just be SAHM until baby is big enough.
hi there. congratulations on the pregnancy! i know its always easier to worry about things and think about the worse during times like this. ive been there and i got by because i surrounded myself with people who reassured me that things will be fine. that the most important thing right now is for you and the baby to be safe and healthy. i hope you get to enjoy the wonderful pregnancy journey ahead of you, you are fortunate to have a husband who's responsible and supportive. pls dont think of it as a burden, you are a team and each day is an opportunity to figure out how to make things work. i wish you all the best and pls know that you have a support system in our community here as well :)
I was unemployed and pregnant too. Husband only earn less than $400 a month, but we still managed to hang on to survived everyday. When baby was born, i had to used his bb bonus to be able to buy diapers and bb necessities, cause we didnt have anyone to look after baby after all, hence i had to take care of him full time. But after awhile, i took up sales career to be done at home and earned more to be able to payback my boy's bank account. Now even with my husband earning $560 from NSF allowance and me studying and working this side line sales, we are able to lead a good life.. So mummy, do not give up and dont worry. I believe youll be able to do it 💪🏻
Hi worried mum. First and foremost, congratulations on your pregnancy and take care. I was pregnant with my 2nd child, 2/3 months after joining the company. The job was super stressful and I hanged on because I wanna enjoy paid maternity leave. I developed hypertension and has to induce birth. My son was born premature, so small and vulnerable. It breaks my heart. And it took a long time for him to catch up on physical and emotional development. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that the company declined to hire you. You should enjoy your pregnancy, don’t worry so much. Things will work out. Take care
thank you mummy for your encouraging words.
Hui Fen Han