Feeling down and resentful towards husband.. going to work soon (part time). Need somewhere to rant

Husband earns a lot more but still expects me to contribute proportionately e.g I contribute 1k and he contributes 4k. We are still paying mortgage half half. I just feel resentful because I know people or friends where husband will just pay for everything.. but we have joint acc so we just use from there. Trying not to be calculative since we are saving for a house where he’ll paying more since he has more savings but just can’t help it… Also feeling more down everyday.. can post natal blues be so late? About 3 months plus already

Vô danh

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Me & my husband agreed on all shared expenses we pay by ratio. Means how much we have in cash, contribute 20% of our total net worth into our shared account. Which to me is fair. Usually we touch this account for shared experiences like travel, holiday, wedding etc. Not sure if your arrangement "proportionately" means this way? However, if I could ask what motivated these thoughts? As it usually points to fear. So what fear are you having? Is it you having not enough? He doesn't contribute more than you think he should? He should off load you on certain household chores to be fair? You feel that husband should be the sole provider? How did this arrangement started? And how come you suddenly have all these thoughts? Is it cause you feel like you're contributing a lot at home and on top of that you have to continue the the finances as well? I think this is an important question to have to yourself. Once you have your answers, then it's important to speak to him based on your mindset and ideas so you guys can find middle ground. As different couples have different values and grounds for marriage. Some is husband is the provider, some prefer equal. Some is ok with less or more. Hopefully you find resolution and peace 👍🏻

Vô danh

2y trước

And also as for the mortgage, how come it was decided to pay equally? You can look back so that you know how to better approach this topic to your husband At that point in time, we both agreed xxx because xxxx. However, recently, I felt that xxxx because xxx. I think it would be the best if we could xxxxx as it's only fair because xxxx . And of course I'm open to hear what you have to say.

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