12 Replies
Follow your child's lead. Answer questions as they come up and keep explanations simple. Young children aren't ready to handle a lot of information about the complex realities of conception, gestation, and birth. "Wait until your child asks you," "If children are not asking, it's not important to them." When your child does ask, you want to have a healthy, open conversation and provide some basic information."As your child grows and becomes more emotionally capable, then you can go into more detail." Ask, then tell. Make sure you understand what your child is really asking. To avoid a misunderstanding, respond to your child's questions by asking: "What do you think?" Many young children spin elaborate fantasies about how babies are created. First get a handle on what your child is thinking. Then you can use that as a launching point for a more helpful discussion. Use the correct language. You can avoid confusion by using accurate terms for body parts. For example, telling a child that the baby grows inside the mother's tummy can be confusing, since that's where food goes. Instead, tell your child the baby grows in a special place inside the woman called the "womb" or "uterus." And if you say that the father's seed grows inside the mother, the child may picture an apple seed growing into a tree inside a woman's body. Instead, you can explain that the father's sperm swim out of his body and into the mother's womb. Tell a story. Make your explanation into a story, with a beginning, a middle, and an end, You can follow the usual plotline: The mommy and daddy make a baby, the baby grows inside the mommy's womb, and the baby comes out when he's ready. This helps children understand that creating and growing a baby is a process that happens over time. If you're pregnant, this will also reassure your child that your pregnancy is temporary and that, when the baby grows big enough in your womb, it will come out and your child will have a sibling. Be matter-of-fact. If you find yourself starting to get embarrassed, remember that this information is not "charged" for young children the way it is for adults. They won't associate the mechanics of reproduction with adult feelings like sexual attraction or desire. Try to be casual and straightforward in your explanations. If you show discomfort, your child will wonder if there's something shameful about what you're saying.
Some tips include: Keep it conversational (i.e. in a matter-of-fact way) and follow your child’s lead. Answer his/her question, making sure that you understand what your child is asking (sometimes “where do I come from” may just be a question of “which country do I come from”). You can do so by asking him/her “what do you think?” and proceed from there. Using the correct terms. Baby grows inside of a mother’s womb/uterus (instead of tummy). This will minimize confusion. Telling it as a story. You can follow the usual plotline: The mommy and daddy make a baby, the baby grows inside the mommy's womb, and the baby comes out when he's ready. This helps to explain that there is a process leading up to birth and it happens over time. You can refer to this article for more tips and also some answer to the FAQ (on page 2) faced by parents from their children: http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-how-babies-are-made_10309539.bc
I remember watching a Channel 8 Chinese serial when i was young (I loved reading the English subtitles) and there was an episode where the lady got pregnant after being in a room with a man. I asked my parents about it and they said that were pretty frank and upfront about it. They emphasized that love is an important aspect in the creation of a baby but there were cases (like in the drama I watched) when babies were created as a consequence of bad decisions. My mom thinks that it better that a girl knew about "such things" factually and early so that she can make well informed choices.
a 4 year old is too young to be told where babies really come from, so maybe you should take an age appropriate approach. my 4 year old asks this a lot, and the reason is that she loves to hear the story when she came to us from the fairy land. for her, babies live in the clouds with fairies in the fairyland, and then, when mamma papa are sad and want the baby, they bring the baby home. this is why babies and parents love each other so much - this is what i tell her :)
4 is too young an age for your child to understand where babies come from. Personally, I feel even if you make up a story or keep it conversational, it wouldn't help much as your child is very small. You can just tell him that doctors know best where babies come from and that once he grows up a little, he himself can ask a doctor. This should satiate his curiosity at least for the time being.
Already kinda had this chat with my 4-year-old nephew as she has a 7-week old sister. He asked how the baby got into mum's tummy, so I told him that daddies give mummies a seed to grow a baby, just like planting seeds in the garden it grows in mummys tummy instead of in the soil!
For now, you should make up a story like what Rajan and Alvin said. When he/she gets older, they'll have biology lessons in primary and secondary school which teaches them about the human reproductive organs as well as how to prevent STDs etc etc.
At that stage in a child's life, they will still have trouble wrapping their heads around complicated concepts such as this one. So it's best that you give them a sanitized version of it in the meantime so that their curiosity would be satisfied.
Promo terbesar expert care sudah dimulai, diskon hingga Rp.100.000 sedang berlangsung di shopee, ada juga voucher diskon 100% alias gratis bagi bunda yang beruntung. Buruan cek di https://shope.ee/9UfEMMqqTg (id-4017)
Well, making up stories about storks dropping her off is fine. Once she gets older and understands, you can tell her how it really happens.
Chiran Doshi