Hi, I think lucky are the ones where both the families gel well. I myself feel stuck between my parents and and my spouse's family, whenever there is no choice but all us be together. Trust me, those are the worst moments, as your every move is scrutinised later. I try to avoid such get togethers as much as possible but as and when they happen, I am the one who goes out thinking that it is not a fun evening or dinner but like being a school teacher who has to behave non partial towards all students.
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I personally, would do things in a way that my parents and inlaws meet as less as possible. I would avoid their meetings as much as possible. I would not take the risk of sorting out their differences as I know that would be taking an elephant on my back and in turn breaking my own bone.
I try to avoid circumstances where they have to meet. As much as possible, less encounter, less stress. I wait for the time until I feel that the issue had already subsided and I wait for my spouse to ask about my family. That's my go signal that they're ok to meet again.
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I try to talk to them both and make them see yung differences and similarities nila. It's a long waaaay to go but so far may progress naman na
thanks