Trouble with in laws

How do you handle lazy Monster-in-laws who never care or bring up for their own son and yet want to be priority in his life? While I am pregnant with my firstborn (a girl), my pils told me not to expect them to ever help or care for the grandchildren as they have no time for her. While I am pregnant with second child (a girl too), my pils told my Husband don't need to tell them anything about my baby's progress as she is a girl. They are only interested if she turn up to be a "boy". It was fine all along as I never expected them to help due to the differences in upbringing; I just work while take care of my children and house all by myself. Suddenly, my pils had some issue with skin and eyes condition (nothing serious) and they expect my husband's to be on 24 by 7 standby for everything. I can understand it if they need him to accompany for checkup but they expect my husband's to turn up for every gathering or wedding dinner that they want to attend even when my children are sick with high fever. There was once my girl is diagnosed with serious digestive system issue and advise by doctor to rush to hospital if we notice blood in her stool. However, my husband choose to keep the information from me and insist to bring his parents for a regular checkup. He only informed me after he left the house, leaving to handle two sick children (a infant and a toddler). I have talked and quarrel with him over it several times asking him to look at the urgency and seriousness to priorities his time but he continues to choose to accompany them for wedding lunch/dinner even when kids or myself is sick. I am really losing hope in our marriage and wonder how should I continue with him and his selfish parents. I got no helper, nor help from everyone.

25 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

This is definitely something you will need to discuss deeply with your husband. If you feel he is stubborn and does not understand you, maybe you can consider seeking help from 3rd party. It can be a marriage counselor, or if you go to church, I think there are some support there too. This is definitely not matters to be taken lightly because many marriages fail because of the lack of communication between husband and wife. Both of you will need to support each other to strengthen the relationship. Something that you can consider if you have space and money is to hire a helper. Previously when I had 2 kids, I did not employ one. Now that I have my 3rd kid, I employed one because it is just too much to handle, and honestly it is so much help around the house. Her contribution is just around the house (I look after my children myself) but it's so nice to come back to a clean and packed house, dishes all prepped up for me to cook, and dishes all done after cooking and eating. The amount of time I save is just unmeasurable, on top of that, my temper is less because I have more time on my hand. I hope you can work out a solution for your problem.

Read more