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well...obese or skinny....it's both a stress we put on kids. I was not initially fat, but a very close cousin of mine was very insecure about me though she was very pretty. so she would feed me ice creams and chocolate esp while we stayed at my aunt's place. this aunt used to force feed me. at that time there was not much emphasis put on what to eat or not etc... I never realized and put on weight very fast. that weight stayed always till now. after each pregnancy I put on more. hence it was very difficult then and now too. the Problm is food is viewed as a comfort always or as a weapon for emotional blackmail....like my aunt did. instead of giving what a child can practically eat, my aunt would put a lot on my plate and make me swear that I'll eat it all. I would cry while I'm eating but that didn't deter her or my cousin. today as I look at those days in hindsight I only feel hurt that sometimes your own can be so conniving and evil. anyway... people calling names, providing certain names that stick to u for life, in school or after marriage, or friends who take snaps with u only to see how slim they are compRed to me...that's the pain people go through which only they can understand. when people say I understand how u feel, do they really understand? if u suffer from a disease or lose someone in death or face marital problems...some quickly say I understand how u feel.... but that's such a wrong statement to make...no one provides a comfort or a shoulder. but they all say I understand...how can they if they can't empathize... if each understand then stop making funny videos of obese people being clumsy, or cracking jokes, or poking fun, calling names, or branding... if a slim person walks by, that person is immediately looked at as healthy and very health conscious. if a thin person walks by, then many give suggestions that u eat this and that and put on a little weight. but if a fat one goes by then tons of things happen... everything from fliers that advertise about weight loss, to shakes for weight loss to gyms and Zumba to surgery to what diseases they will get. but no one just walks up and says u look beautiful... no one says that color looks good on you no one says u make the dress look beautiful.. no one says it's normal... on my part I ensure that at least my words don't harm and hurt other...how I'm treated is no longer my concern.

I think it must be tough. I don't know how being called fat makes you feel but being called skinny, dandi (stick), flat really stresses you out. I was one skinny girl in school and I had to listen to all those names not only from strangers passing by but from my own friends. I never let my friends know that I seriously get bugged when they call me 'dandi' as I knew some of them will tease me more after that. Also, those are such times that everyone is called by some name, and if you become touchy, you are pulled more because of that. I could deal with friends because I knew that they love and support me, but there were complete strangers passing by taunting, "look at that dandi", "No, she is not my type. Complete dandi she is". Trust, it is very big deal to turn deaf ear to such remarks. And even if you confront, the mentality of people in India does not change. They will call you names,, they will make your life hell, so you can rely upon is your bearing capability and family to be confident how you are.

Hi Freny, for once I felt this question was targetted to me :) My childhood say from std 3 to std 9 was really messy as I was all out of shape. Kids made fun of me, I was called to parties and rebuked. Confidence hit a all time low. But then because I started losing friends, I took up hobbies like basket ball and dancing to keep engaged and guess what -the 98 kg me won best dancer and our school team too won the interschool basketball championship. I can say the rebuke was a blessing in disguise, helped me discover and pursue hidden talents :)

I was an overweight child since my birth and continued to be so during my growing-up years too. I was a butt of jokes, used to be ridiculed, nobody bothered about my emotions. Also because of the excess weight I refrained from participating in sports, trekking, and missed out on doing a lot of other fun stuff that kids of my age did. My confidence and self-esteem hit an all time low by the time I was in my teens. I had promised to myself that I would never allow my kids to be overweight and go through the same.

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