You could get a part time helper to lighten the house chores if you don't want a stay in domestic helper. How about scheduling a date night for your husband? Leave the children with their grandparents or a neighbour and have dinner together. I only have one child, but my husband and I sneak out to the nearby mall frequently. It's not much of a date, but at least it's couple time.
If you feel overwhelm, you should seek help from close family members to take care of kids for certain days or engage a maid to ease your burden and at the same time have personal time with your husband. It's not worth to scarify couple time as husband-wife relationship is the foundation of a happy family.
We were 3 brothers in one house! Difficult to give personal time if you are in full time job. Having a domestic help will certainly help. Also involve their dad to help out in daily chores. Don't know their ages, but consider boarding schools when the time is right.
ask your husband to share the responsibility of settling your kids. (then he would be more tired, and you would be less tired since u need to do less, so whatever energy he has left can match yours, adjust until it's balanced)
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Breathe! Do you have enough house help at home? I personally loved the advice on this article: http://sg.theasianparent.com/tech-mothersmums-who-rule-the-tech-world/
Sounds busy!! Just got to make time .. when e kids are asleep?
thanks