I suffer from post depression too after giving birth to my firstborn. I once used a pillow to cover her face to stop her from crying due to all the stress and negative remarks from my parents-in-laws. I also once carried her in my arm and want to throw her down from our window to end her "abnormal" life before I leap to death. Both incidents my husband happened to be home early and stop me on time. The thought just come randomly and I promise I love my kids to bits. I noticed my stress come from my PILs and sister who loves to tell me how bad I am as a Mom or person. The fear of my children because a lousy person like me cause me to feel depressed; hence I stop meeting them to reconnect with myself. I start doing stuff I like so that I don't have time to think about negative stuff, I ask for "me" time when I know I am reaching my limit. I devoted my time to answer topics that i know on online forums to find my worth. I can't say I doing well now as I still hit or beat my girl when I lose my cool. However, I no longer having thought of ending their life or mine. Having someone to talk to and help her to find out the reason why she find depress and tackle it on the first sign will help. I am lucky as my husband know me very well so he will show up with "happy" food when I showing sign that I am stress up at home with kids.
It sounds like it may be beneficial for her to receive some professional help (like counseling). The professionals may help equip her with appropriate coping strategies when she is feeling stressed or experiencing any anxiety/depression. Sometimes, when under stress, one may lose the ability to think rationally and act in a manner that is beyond one's control. It is best to find out what is causing this and intervene accordingly, before it progresses to something more serious. I feel that what you could do is to provide a listening ear when she needs one. You are probably someone she could trust and turn to. Just be there for her when she needed some support would be good. Also, keep a lookout for any changes in behaviour (common symptoms of depression: http://scc.sg/eng/index.php/depression/ | common signs of stress: http://scc.sg/eng/index.php/stress/) and suggest options such as counseling to see if she is open to it. For professional counselling service, you can consider Singapore Counselling Service: http://scc.sg/eng/index.php/counselling-services/ Hope your friend would feel better!
Theres possibility of it being Post partum depression. She may go for counselling with professional or have a talk with her good friends or mum/mil for tips on newborn? Im not sure if hubby will be of any help cos post partum depression has definitely got to do with hubby. She just need some me time or some rest. She needs more sleep to re-energise for the hectic day. Rest, vitamins and counselling maybe, is all she needs. I went through this. I had depression before for a good 2 months. I will unintentionally accidentally hit my lo when im too shag. Then i'll regret the next moment. But this only happens when too tired. She needs comfort and freedom. If possible tell her hubby to give her some "ME" time.
1. Acceptance of herself as a new mother and be proud to divide her personal time to include the time of bonding. This is the mentality that her personal space included the child. 2. Be calm and getting used to the cries of the child as this is the response that the child exhibits for attention, be it milking time, diaper changing time, etc. 3. Learning to relax by doing what she likes and uses to do and to rest when the child is sleeping, as the child needs is 24 hours and may not be predictable. 4. As a SAHM, she needs to communicate to people in the family, and if there is none, try to embrace the world out there.
Here are some other agencies that can help Family service centers -https://app.msf.gov.sg/Policies/Strong-and-Stable-Families/Supporting-Families/Family-Service-Centres Samaritans of Singaporehttps://sos.org.sg/sosservices If she is affiliated with a religious group - sometimes the religious leader or counsellor in the group can be approached for emotional support. Hope this helps
I think I can understand the frustration of a shm. Is she not happy bring one? Sometimes the kids can be very hard to handle and very tiring, sometimes we need a listening ear and helping hand srsly sometimes I reali feel like slapping my kids. Too much frustration and seems like nobody understand. Most importantly is to pause and think first. Maybe she want go counselling?
i suggest for you to give her as much support as possible. mental health is a topic unspoken and many people are not educated on it. i have been diagnosed with a few conditions and am currently seeking treatment at IMH. it takes courage to step up and seek help.
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Have you brought her to seek help? I would advise you to bring her to seek help. Also as a supporting pillar for her too. Is she is single mum too?
Have you tried bring your friend to seek help? I was like her. but I do the harming on myself. basically I was self harming myself.