9 Replies
Hey, I feel for you. Sometimes, we all get stuck in a situation where we feel being trapped from all the sides. But as they say, there is always a door that has a bright Sun, and all that is required is to find that door and open it. I think, for you also, all you need to do see that door. I can understand the sadness that you feel leaving your baby back, but at the same time, you are not able to see the bright side which your working is bringing to your home. And you are not able to see this is, because till now you are not pressed for money. Once if you quit your job, you will be physically be available for your baby but mentally your mind will waver all the time, because then you will all time be thinking of ways to make money. And you will become stressed over the period of time because of lack of money. So, the proximity that you want now with your baby will still not be there, because your mind will be wavering. I suggest, see the brighter side of things and be happy and tell yourself that there cannot be any other better way than this for now. And if there is a possibility of work from home which will make money for you, you can try that too. But understand that work from home requires much more dedication than an office going job. And that may mean lesser time and attention for the baby than what you are giving currently. Speak to your husband and save money so that in future at least you both can save enough so that you guys can spend most of your all time together. Good luck!
Hi I am in the exact opposite situation as you. I have been jobless for two years. First year is because I went overseas with my husband. But I came back to deliver and my gal is going to be 1yo soon. I had started to look for job since she is 4mo. Been to several interviews but no luck. The only offer I had cut my pay by about 15%. I need the money to support the mortgage of my house, for my gal too. I also dread going back to work as I am very sticky to my gal now but like u say u need the money right. Let money be the motivating factor then. To a lot of people work is just for the money. How many people actually enjoy the work they do? I am getting very depressed because I can't find a job at all and people penalize me for having a two year gap and for having a baby. It is tough. If you know the stress I am going through I think you may feel a bit better about having to go to work. At least you can buy things more freely whereas I have not spent on myself for some months.
There is always pro and con that come with every decision you made and depend how strong and supportive is your Husband. I left my high paid job to care for my children at home. Although I do see a significant improvement in my children behaviour and learning development. As I am not contributing and getting allowance from my hubby, he start to make noise or challenges me to get a job whenever I had a disagreement with him especially when if issue are about his family side. Now when I want to go back to workforce, I am force to take a pay cut as my skillset are outdated which make his family and him look down on me further. At one point, my children (just 4 years old) even learn from my pils and make this comment to me: "your words are just air as you got no say in this family." If your work can be done at home, how about arranging with your company to work half day or a day or twoat home which some of my friends did.
Yes, I was like that when I was working. Everyday drag myself to work- but more so because I didn't have any friends at work :(. It got quite bad... depressing.... I thought to myself, why work when I can be at home spending time with my kid instead since everyone hates me here....ya so I gave up my rather good paying job.... but maybe I will find work again next year....abit bored at home.
Actually depend what you want. Sole breadwinner of course you can't have a luxury thing. Neither go restaurant nor holiday trip. Spend every cents must calculate. But got more time for lo. Opposite, both earn can spend on the thing you all want. I always believe is the choice of ownself.
How about look for a part time job? Can spend more time with kid and have bit of income. I am a ftwm too. I always tell myself only at work I can have some me-time.. Whole day at home take care of baby will go crazy.. 😂
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Which is why I took 2 months no pay leave for my firstborn in 2014. But 6 months also not enough! Lol. For my 2nd one(born last month), dont tink i can afford another no pay leave -_-
Think about this way. Work hard, earn the money. So you can bring your kid for an overseas trip or a staycation! This way you will see the happiness from your kid