7 Replies
We all know how challenging it can be when our children refuse to listen to instructions. Some ways that can help is to engage in 'positive parenting' - affirming good behavior in a specific manner rather than disapproving constantly. SuperNanny (I enjoy the show alot!) shares more on how to get your kids to listen to you: http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Routine-and-Teamwork/9-ways-to-make-them-listen.aspx Dr Sears also shares on how we can talk to children in order to get them to listen. Using simple sentences, being brief and to the point, giving options are some of the ways he suggested. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/25-ways-talk-so-children-will-listen At the heart of disciplining children, is how we communicate with them. You've said it clearly - that you too, do not wish to raise your voice. And we know that kids emulate and 'model' themselves after us; the last thing we want is for them to be raising their voice at us. Keep the faith that your kid would become a listener soon! Meanwhile, take it a day at a time, Mummy :)
When we give instructions repeatedly and raise our voice at our children we are teaching them delayed obedience. It occurs when they know that the first time you say anything, you don't really mean it. Only when you raise or voice or start to get angry then they begin take you seriously. Hence as parents we should only give instructions once and bring a significant consequence to disobedience. That way they know when we mean it and only give instructions once. It will take a lot of patience and determination. I think it's us parents that this method is training. Haha. http://www.familyministries.com/how_we_accidentally_teach_disobedience.htm
Yes. As Sarah has mentioned, it's all about communication. If all else fails, you could try something my friend did - tell your kid to do the exact opposite. Her child was having a meltdown in public and screaming her lungs out. She refused to listen when being told to "keep quiet", so my friend told her to "cry louder and let everyone hear". The child sobbed and quietened down. I guess she's at that age where they hate listening to instructions and love testing boundaries.
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Stephanie, thank you for your tips.. i will try to take note.
thanks
Yeah most of the time have to raise my voice