In-laws

exactly same as me, I'm staying with my inlaws. baby is 5 months old now going to 6mths in 2 weeks time. Initially I don't plan to let my MIL or parents to take care( my mom used to be a babysitter only stop taking care of recently and they stay quite far away from me too), same wanted to put baby in infant care, but hubby think is ex and infant don't learn anything there...(MIL used to work in Childcare for a yr or so. Hence the mindset of him. Keep telling us baby should start taking solid food at 4 mths, we insisted him to start later, as he has yet to sit with minor support and his pace of drinking milk is quite fast would get choke easily moreover solid food. Keep saying we start it slow, wait till so late then start. Keep comparing say other 4mths old already start eating solid like cereal etc...like my BIL 9mths old already start eating porridge. Told her different infants different pace of learning or when to start solid. Until I straight away tell her 6mths the start solid. Of course my hubby and I observe to see when baby is ready.

Im so relieved to see so many mummies in the same boat. have such an irritating mil too! & alr foresaw probs with her even b4 bb was born, given her character likes to find fault with ppl… thinks that shes very experienced having taken care of 4 grandkids before but i have seen a few instances when she did things that made me ??? e.g. wear my bb diaper so low until can see butt crack idk wanna cry or laugh.. Fine i try to close one eye cuz who doesn’t makes mistakes but she likes to harp/ emphasize on mine whenever she has the chance. N it doesnt help that my husband worships her, everything she does is right. He dotes on our bb but idk why his mom ego is more important?? My mom may be far less experienced but im so much happier whenever its her duty day, she respects and does things the way we want for our bb & doesnt make irritating comments. She insists not to take the childcare allowance but is alw punctual, alw ask if theres anything to do & finish her “duties” eg washing bottles before going home… so unlike the mil -.-

Staying with mil or own mother , to me , it doesn't makes any different .. follow ur guts .. its ur baby .. my mum suggested to give a diluted Cerelac + milk but i don't want to take the risk as my 2nd girl was 4 months at that time .. Now , my 2nd is turning 6mo on the 11th so i can slowly starts on solids ... Staying with them also helps financially so we don't need to hire a caregiver to look after the kids ... my 3yo girl is entering N2 next week and im working in a 3-shifts environment while my husb is a delivery driver ... my mum helps to look after my 2nd IF i send my older one to school .. you do you , mummy ... if u think sending them to the infantcare , go ahead as it also helps ur baby to adapt to school environment one day later .. whatever they advised us , take it easy and think on the bright side .. they prolly meant well for us too .. we'll never know .. :)

Same here. Mine is full of criticism over every single tiny thing I do. My lo is 5 months also and insist I let her give whatever food she want. The thing is, is not about her eh. It’s about my child. If she is not ready means not ready mah? Rush for what? Keep comparing she take care of other grandkids also but not all babies is same mah. V annoying I fight with my hubby so many times cause his mother mah. But still, is my child. I say no means no. I told her she’s a mother herself and has her own ways of doing things, so please don’t interfere with mine. Then until now don’t want to talk to me and her daughters are being sarcastic towards me. Don’t care, do what’s best for you child. There’s a lot of subsidies or maybe just give her ultimatum, either take care how u want it or u send it to someone who can.

I never allowed my MIL to take care of my baby, and she fully understand it. Even milk we will prepare nicely and pass to her when we went back to visit. I didn't stay w her after I gave birth and only moved back when baby started to go ifc. Reason being, I do not want baby to imitate any unwanted behaviour. However, as my mom used to work as nanny and had also taken care of my niece and nephew till now, she believes in her ways. But being the stubborn me, she did not try anything without consulting me first. (I am not the type who will just let things go). I had discussed w my husband before and my mindset of not letting MIL to take care (but I phrase it in a nicer way). End of the day, the baby is mine, even my husband had to respect my decision (as I am the one who went through all the pain during labour, not him).

infant care has subsidies and i think it can be quite affordable if the two of you can afford. partly its coz the kid can get to expose to different surroundings and teachings. it will help in their growth. my inlaws wanted to help us to look after initially, suggesting we send to them on weekdays, bring back on Friday night to look after then Sunday night back to them. But I didnt want to because I will only be seeing my kid for that 2 days only and I am also afraid the way they teach and all will be different so I rather pay to put in IFC. older ppl will have their way of doing things and thinking coz the way they brought us up is like that and nothin happen too. so for me, to prevent conflicts, arguments and all, best is settle myself and send to school. at least i no need to bother abt others coz i decide for my own kod

This is a common issues I guess. Before I gave birth, I already discussed with my hub that I will not give my daughter to my in law to look after due to following reasons: - they are already old, no energy to look after - fil will not help, so responsibility falls onto mil - grandparents will give in to their grandchildren n ends up over pampered - different parenting styles, cmf hv conflict - ifc can learn more things, not just slp n poop During pregnant time, my mil made comments like - wear cloth diaper n ask nanny to wash. Aft nanny go off, change to disposal diapers (does it makes any diff by wearing cloth diaper for a mth?) - recycle the disposable diaper if it’s just wet - cut the teat so baby can drink faster (baby rushing off to somewhere? Y must let her drink fast?)

Yea. It’s annoying actually. My MIL keep saying and assuming that my baby is blablabla and so busybody when she can eat solids. Not only that she gave my baby water with winter melon due to her jaundice without mu permission when she’s only 1 week! Consulted to doctor and explained to my husband but my MIL keep on saying that its good and what not. Also asked me to give goat milk to a baby that is jaundice prolonged because she thought that my parents didn’t know how to take care of the baby when we actually been confirmed by doctors and tests that the baby is fine and the jaundice is caused of the breastmilk but its not harmful. So stressed out and hate her during that time. Everything she said now I feel loke meehh shut up. Let me educate and feed my baby with my own ways

I think for your own sanity, pls send your child to infant care. They are trained Teachers and they will never do things without your consent first. I had lotsssss of disagreements with my in laws too. Same experience, but worse. Asking to drink plain water when my child is a newborn, introduce solids at 4 months, asking me to stop breastfeed because they said my BM causes her to have diarrhoea. It’s crazy, but now it’s better after I send her to infant care. They can’t interfere much anymore. And I’m happier because I don’t have to deal with so many unnecessary bullshits and interference. Their time is over, it’s our child, our rules. Infant care can use CDA. Pls use it. By the way you describe, your in laws can drive you even crazier in the future.

As my colleagues that dont have mother in law to take care for her, she actually envy over those that have mil to take care. She has to send her daughter to infant care till childcare centre, and after work, quickly dash to pick up her child again. Another collague said she can feel her baby is not happy when she gonna send him to infant care every morning before going for work. The expression and response is diff. So she also wish if got someone to help her take care than send to infant care. For ur case, i feel ur husband shd be the middle man. Cos mother always listen to the son than daughter in law. Another thing is, u may just listen and then say doctor do not recommend/hubby said blah blah blah ....... Everything also push to ur hubby and doctor.