Our son has a great relationship with our helper. I think it is only natural that he feel attached to her as much as to us, since he spends most of his daytime with her. I feel sad, definitely, that neither me or my wife are staying at home, but our weekends are therefore purely meant for quality time with our son. My wife also reduced her work to 4 days a week, so that she can spend more time with him. All-in-all this seems a good balance for all members in our family, although more would always be better. Our son is happy both when he sees our helper and when we come home. He also hardly cries when somebody leaves the house for a while.
I feel the same way :( My friends and I call it "mommy guilt". If there's no way to change your work schedule, then just make the time you have with her count. Really bond with her, and don't just be in the same room with her, you know? Sing to her, play with her, and maybe take over some of the helper's tasks like giving her a bath or feeding her.
I do not stress out and it encourage me even more to spend more time with my daughter. In fact, I notice that my daughter is very close to nanny rather than me. It is sad that I am working mum. My solution is, I must spend time with my daughter as much as possible over weekend and before her bed time.
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thanks