Money and lies

Question

It came to a shock to my hubby spend 100k in a moment of folly when he only earn 50k. He lied he keep the money in another bank reaping higher interest and promised to keep the spending down. He only come clean after given the ultimate that I want to see proof. He keep delaying and refuse to show until d day before I give birth.He WFH and go office only 2 times a week. We send baby to ifc, I just realize he took grab to fetch her recently and it cost 16.50 while a bus ride is 99c. It doesnt give him any time saving coz have to wait at ifc just more comfortable and dont need to spend 7min walking to busstop Then I found he lied again and upon the warning he show me the total which he had 6k life saving in his account and refused to show me detail. Then again heaping on, I found He got a 3k loan return but I suspect it him loan from someone else instead. He spend 1701 on grab itself in Oct and there grab ride of 40dollars +20dollars every time he go work. Total spend on cab on last 5month add to 4900. He has a company phone but sign up for a self pay $99 Telco plan and took company calls on his personal phone. And he did not get any free hp for last 4 years with such expensive plan. More lies around that.He already closing 50 and no retirement fund at all, not to mention saving for my gal education fundWhile I dont want to hurt his feeling I feel super hurt that first he not sensible to stop his spending now we have a baby and planing one more if possible. Secondly the lies around money NV stops.While I cant control what he do and foresee the lies NV will stop, what should I do?

Vô danh · Accepted Answer

I would start asking expenses from him monthly and keep it as emergency funds for the kids and myself. If he have no intention on changing his spending habits then let him be, when he falls to rock bottom, don’t help him pay off anything. For family planning I cannot advise as I’m just an outsider, but for me, if my husband is like this, I won’t go for another kid else unless I am sure I can financially raise both child alone in case the family runs out of money. One will only sense the urgency when everything comes down all at once.