11 Replies

We are on the same boat reading this is like reading story of my life now. Feel so glad to read this as I thought I'm the only one feeling this way and nobody understands. I think (I hope!) its perfectly normal as we are adjusting to the demands of motherhood. I am taking care of my newborn on my own and find it so tough to cope, all the sleepless nights, baby needing me 24/7 such that I can't even go toilet or eat when on my own, let alone say sleep or rest. I look at her when she sleeps fearing and knowing that she will wake up soon as she cannot be put down to sleep on her own. Its so stressful and I cried a few times thinking I'm a lousy mum to have such feelings and suck at this and even wonder if I might have postpartum depression. Made hubby worried and he tried to support me as much as he can especially during his paternity leave he will take over to let me have me time. Now I feel better but still not confident to be on my own with baby so hes getting his parents to help out in meantime. We need all the help we can get, I see no light at the end of tunnel now but I think like they say it will get better and it shall pass. I can only hope. And I'm sending my baby to IFC at 3 mths instead of my original planned 6 mths as I really can't last that long. I feel so guilty that I can't wait to go back to work but I think it's for the best as its really mentally taxing on me, maybe taking care of baby full time is just not for me. Motherhood is full of paraxoid, heart pain having to hand her over to other caregivers but yet I know I can't do it on my own. 😢 How old is your baby now? Mine is 6 weeks and I am counting down the days.

Same same I totally feel what u are going through. I know it will be mixed feelings when I hand her over to IFC but I think its for the best, for my sanity! Happy mummy happy baby, so what matters is that we do whatever we can in the best interest of both baby and our well being. Jiayou to us.

VIP Member

Hang in there! I feel you. I was in the same situation as you. It was tough taking care of my LO on my own during the day and some days, I will be so tired from night feeds, in pain from blocked ducts/sore nipples and depressed to even eat a proper meal. I sustained myself on cup noodles. My baby was thriving and I was wilting away. It did get better when she turned 4 months and could self soothe to sleep and sleep longer stretches. It may seem so tough but I kept telling myself that my baby depends on me and I need to be strong and positive. She growing well, her smiles and chuckles are my reward. The days are long but the years are short. It’s so true. I am dreading the day I need to go back to work when she turns 6 months and will be going to ifc. I wish I could be there for her everyday and not miss any “firsts” moments.

I totally feel you, and have recently finally confided in my mummy friends that I genuinely dislike motherhood for all the reasons u mentioned and more. Their advice was always “it’ll get better” even though I have no idea how and when that will be. Meanwhile I’m just trying to be as positive as possible and just keep psychoing myself that this is a passing phase. I’m also trying to see if I can bring baby out soon so that at least I don’t feel so entrapped at home or enslaved to the pump. I’ve decided that dragging out the time in between 2 pumping sessions or missing 1 is not the end of the world. Self care and me-time is so impt. See if u can get help from someone and give urself 1-2 hrs off once a week. And u can scoot out for a coffee. It makes a lot of difference. Hugssss

TapFluencer

It really does get better. I was taking care of my baby all on my own including weekends from birth till 3 months plus. Like you, I didn't have time to pee, eat or s*** and I developed piles cos I was constipated. Have you tried baby wearing? Some babies are soothed by their mother's rocking/ walking around because it feels like they're still in the womb. Babies also tend to fuss more when they're undergoing growth spurt but it will pass. I suggest you download the wonder weeks app to find out more about growth spurts. Regarding nipple pain, lather on more nipple cream after latching. Unfortunately, the 2-3 hourly feeds will last till they are about 4 months. But by the time they are 10 weeks old, they should be sleeping longer intervals already. Jia you. Dont give up breastfeeding.

VIP Member

I can feel u totally!! This is also my current routine with my 1 month old baby. I feed her on demand, so the feeding gap can be as short as 1 hour at day time to 3 hours at night time. As I'm fully breastfeed, baby will poo more compare to formula fed, literally poo after every feed. I don't hire confinement nanny, only mil to help take care tgt during day time and night time will be me and husband to take care of baby. It is of course exhausting, but I believe it will get better when baby grow older. At least their feeding time can be stretched longer. Baby's smile is my happy pill to relief my tiredness. Let's jia you tgt 😊

I feel like this is a modern woman syndrome. My mil happily and lovingly, thank god, takes care of my toddler more than me. My LO will always be apple of my eye but I overcome with guilt and shame and have accepted the fact that LO is closer to her. Not everyone fits in motherhood role perfectly, I know I’m not. So I definitely will ask for as much help as I can.

my baby sleeps only when helper carry. with me only use me as pacifier/milk. give me no rest and always only want carry but not sleep. feel useless and jealous and unhappy

really feelin sickk and tired here too. baby been refusing to sleep and i have to pump/bf every 2-3 hours with zero rest. FML.

The pumping/feeding doesn’t frustrate me as much as the baby refusing to sleep. That one is ultimate nightmare - having to carry and rock and coax and beg for hours. It’s like everyday I’m just doing this. Don’t know when it’ll stop.

VIP Member

I also feel this when I gave birth. I feel you... It gets better with time and with the help of our love ones.💕

https://www.mother.ly/life/the-mental-load-of-motherhood-is-what-i-didnt-fully-expect

Related Questions

Trending Questions

Related Articles