10 Replies
I've a friend who used tt same arrangement but with her own mother. Aft 6 mths, she found it hard to bond with her baby, always cranky when grandmother wasn't ard. But they continued with the same arrangement for more than 1.5 years as they didn't believe in infant care. Now the girl is 2 yrs old and my friend decided to be a SAHM as she has a home-based biz. Her own mother isn't happy as she feels as though my friend is taking her grand daughter away, even though they still visit her twice a week. She's also having problems instilling her own routines and disciplining her daughter her way as the girl is alr used to grandmother's way. I think best if you can limit baby care with MIL to the hours tt u're both working. When any of u end work, take ur baby back. Personally, I'm having the same issue of deciding on care arrangement as both of us are working and we don't want to leave our baby with an outsider aft my maternity leave. So when I return to work, I'll be sending baby to my mom in the morn and fetch him bck aft work. Gonna be a tiring commute as I stay in the east and mom in the north. But I guess it's a sacrifice we have to make for our own kid. When he reaches 2 or 3 yrs old perhaps, then we'll send him to childcare.
Initially, my mil plan the same thing but rejected by hubby & ii also don’t agree. As ii feel that both parents really require to spend more time w the kids. So ii told my hubby if my mil want take care the only option is moving over to my place. As we are more controlled over things. If day put in-law place we also dk what they do/ teach when the baby is older. But infant care other den financially u have to be mentally prepare as e baby will fall sick quite often as that what happen to my niece.
infant care will be a better choice. firstly baby will definitely be closer to your mil especially you only take care during weekend. secondly as baby grow older you cannot blame your baby learning the wrong thing as you can't expect your mil to teach standardize English or Chinese etc. thirdly upbringing way will be different you cannot expect your mil will listen to what you want as she's the main care giver she will do her way which will be easier for her.
Hi mummy, I have the similar issue as u... Suggest that you put infant care. 1st , Grandparent will always dote their grandchild, so no matter what they will always be pampered. 2nd , We parents have our own way of teaching our kids, but PIL no way they will listen to us. As they will tell you that they bought up their son using the same method. Relationship with PIL will sure turn sour 3rd Baby in IFC can learnt stuff and meet friends . They won’t be lonely...
All the points mentioned earlier are very valid. Up to 5-6 months MIL can care for bb as bb isn’t really doing much except sleep, drink milk, poop. So ifc is expensive for this service. At slightly older, when bb start to explore then ifc will be better. But if your MIL isn’t happy, You can put into ifc half day and MIL half day.
Agreed. Infant care is better. But still need manage financially. If no money then have to put at PIL. Mindset is another thing, end of the day everyone have good intentions just the execution not right. Just tahan lo. Can help to train patience also 😅
IFC will be better for baby's development 😊
infant care!
infant care!
Infant care