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Since giving birth, I’ve never felt a strong bond with my baby. Many people take care of him: my mom, mother-in-law, and the helper. They’ve been very helpful and let me rest. But for some reason, now (my baby is 4 months old), I just feel like a milk machine. My only job is breastfeeding. I don’t feel a deep love for my baby, just normal. Sometimes I stress about whether I’m a bad mom. Why is my husband closer to our baby? Why are others closer to my baby? But why am I not?
When I gave birth for the first time, I was extremely stressed, and it greatly affected my relationship with both my child and my husband, as well as with my extended family. Now my first child is 4 years old, and I’m pregnant with my second (this wasn’t planned…). Could I experience severe stress again?
Don't focus on going through the same thing. Given that you have experience, you ought to know what would happen. Perhaps you and your husband can talk through what happened back then and see how you both can work together this round. Team work is essential and communication is key.
I'm a husband... I feel so guilty reading the comments and questions here... It reminds me of the time when my wife had just given birth; she was always angry and upset, and instead of being supportive, I got angry back at her. I didn’t understand what she was going through. Gosh, I was so selfish....
I'm glad that you actually came to terms with that. It takes a lot of courage to admit that. Please do not just leave the comment here, but share it with your wife. Back then, you were also a new father and it was a stressful and overwhelming period for you 2. Marriage needs teamwork and lots of communication. And both of you are learning a new chapter in life together.
About to give birth soon. reading these questions really helps me to know what I will face because honestly, I’m so nervous. Many people around me have changed after giving birth. A lot of them no longer recognize themselves🥲🥲🥲🥲
Especially for mothers, we give so much that we lose ourselves without knowing it. Because there is no limit to a mother's love, we just keep giving. And that is why it is important to make time for yourself. Self care is an important form of self love. And when we love ourselves, we can give our child the best of us, and not what's left of us.
I’m afraid of being judged if I ask for help... I once addressed my feeling and my family told me I can't be like that. my son needed me. My MIL even told me I'm a bad mother... How can I overcome this fear and seek support?
It is very courageous of you to seek help. But know where you seek help, because not everyone is able to help you. As simple as joining mother community online, there are many channels for you to reach out to. There will always be people who judge, so don't mind them. You cannot control what they say, but you can control what you see. If the online community is too big for you, start small. Talk to friends or peers.
Since giving birth, and now my baby is 7 months old, I still often blame my husband. I get annoyed seeing him go about his regular activities while I feel stuck with the baby. Could this be postpartum depression?
This sounds like a situational issue. Because you have limitations while your husband don't. Would it be possible to talk to him about compromising? Him heading out lesser and you getting your me-time? It is a common frustration and you would need to communicate with your husband on this matter.
I have just 7weeks ,but i am reading through all the experiences of others and preparing for my turn. Luckily I only got feel sick one week , now I am feeling better 😌
Congrats! Not everyone goes through the same path. But having read so much, I hope you get the message that you are not alone on this. Wishing you a smooth pregnancy ahead.
wondering if there are any self-care strategies or lifestyle changes that can help manage or reduce symptoms of postpartum depression? is it lifestyle/ diet related?
i can still smile or even laugh when relatives come by... so no one believe when i told them i feel depressed during postpartum...
Depression does not mean that you cannot laugh or smile. But please, reach out to someone on this soon. You are not alone in this journey. There are many ways to help you cope during this tough times.
My sister in law is 3rd trimester and bout to give birth any time soon... How can partners, family, and friends best support?
Support can be provided in many ways. However, I do feel that support can be much more focused after birth, especially in the newborn period. She could be overwhelmed then and that's when she will need all the help she can get. Talk to her and listen to her concerns so you can offer her the help she needs. As for now, I believe she would needing a lot of sleep
Stacy Chow