Pregnant tak ready

Apa perasaan bila ttc first pregnancy, then miscarriage. So its okey. Then 5m forward, ttc 2nd pregnancy success sampai lahir. Sayyyyang sangat my anak. Rindu dia. Walaupun dia ada tidur bawah ketiak now dh 1y7m. Rasa nk spend more time with her like another 1 year baru bagi adik. Ehhhh tiba tiba now 3rd pregnancy dh. I kaget. Tak kaget sgt tp in denial sbb nak more time dgn my sulung 😭🥹 tp kena accept my 2nd child dalam tummy dlm fasa tak ready ni. Tak ready sbb still nak manjakan anak sulung. How how 😭