My MIL’s style of raising children and my style are also complete opposites. We took the most drastic step. My husband quit to become a SAHD and we raise our children. If my MIL does something like what yours does, if it’s a small thing, I try to let it go, to honour her. For bigger things, I’ll explain to her why I want to do it that way, and my husband’s also on the same page as me, so that helps. For huge issues, I let my husband do the talking. For your case, seriously consider infant care? You’ll need to tell your husband how much all this is affecting you, and both of you need to establish common goals in raising your child. Only when both of you can see eye to eye, then both of you can tell your MIL how to take care of the child, or to tell your MIL that you’ll he sending your LO to infant care instead.
I told my mil off when she said nonsense like "ur mom and dad dont want to talk to you"..babies maybe young but they understand and they pick up whatever adults speak to them and will affect them. It's no small matter, it's about them growing healthy emotionally. If she thinks 小孩子(supposed it meant you and your hb?)不要问这么多 then tell her baby is yours, you know how to take care and please respect your style. Consider sending to infant care? I don't live with my mil but when she offered to take care of my LO when i return to work, i downright rejected. With the kind of MIL she is, i think my LO is better off at infant care - better for her growth & development. Do discuss with your husband about it. There'll be another set of problens when u return to work eg will she feed baby ehat you told her to?
I think it’s rude for ur mil to be bad mouthing you in front of ur kid. With her taking care of ur baby after u return to work, imagine what kind of things she will do to to poison ur baby’s mind. Also, I think u need to get ur hubby to be on the same page as you. You 2 need to be 同一阵线. And he should stand up against his mum. If he continue to brush it off, ur mil may think that ur hubby is ok with it. Nevertheless, I believe you and ur mil both have ur LO interest at heart, but just show in different ways. In order to reduce conflict. I would send to infant care.
i also have irritating and biased in laws. what i learnt that works for me is: the lesser the interactions, the better. and be self-sufficient. don’t rely on them for anything - be it money for house or help to take care of baby etc. in that way, u owe them nothing and if they piss u off, u can just tell them to F.O. enjoy your motherhood & your baby! ignore anything and everyone else who does not bring you joy!
My own mom also like that. I just try to distant ourselves and put lo in infant care since 2mo. Anyway she played us out during the confinement, she promised to help but disappeared after 2 days, thereafter only appeared every 2 to 3 months. I dont feel any guilt distancing her away from her grandchild at all.
Tell her you are supertitious too. Your superstitious is you don't allow people to say bad things in front of your lo. She should ONLY talk good things in front of your lo. Else lo will become bad. I believe she cares for your baby as much as you do. Thinking this way might help you to tolerate her ways too
My own mom was superstitious about a lot of things too. I just ignored and told her what she learnt and believed are when taking care of me. I would find articles online as proof that all their beliefs are myths
It's old wives tales. Don't believe it in one bit haha