11 Replies
I think most men are the same. Selfish and need a lot of me time. My husband also doesn't help with housework and even if he does it will be very small tasks like emptying the rubbish bin. Even when I was feeling unwell during pregnancy and couldn't do housework for a while, he refused to vacumn the floor saying the magical wipes kind of wiping is clean enough. I think you can communicate more with him to let him know how affected you are by his lack of participating in housework. And perhaps delegate him fixed tasks to do. Men think That parenting is just about having fun with the kids. I make it a point to tell my husband constantly after baby was born that having a family and parenting is not about just playing with Kids. The dirty task and chores need to be done too otherwise he should not bother to have a family. Even if I am a sahm he should still help out and what's more you are a working mom. However I find most men need reminders and specific instructions to help on housework, they just won't do it willingly or with their own initiative :(
hi, i am so sad to hear that. I guess having kid is not going to change the man because it can be quite impersonal to some of them though it sounds weird to us (the women). i think that you should try to find time to talk to him about the areas that you need help in and be specific about it whether it is helping on certain days or in certain chores. So that he knows that you are struggling instead of thinking negatively about you nagging or being grumpy. you could also tell them that that being tired is the exact reason you don't feel like having sex. so if he helps you, you can be more energy and can have sex sometimes. such a talk should be done in a as neutral feeling as possible e.g. when you both are at dinner without the kid / during other couple times - least it becomes out of control some women do it the reverse mentality (i heard). they have sex often so that their husbands are sweeter to them and thus easier to get husbands to help them do stuff.
It really depends on their upbringing and examples set by their own father. So if your husband's father don't lift a finger, then it will take a mountain just for your husband to change. sometimes the change is only temporary. Try stop doing things for him. Also, when he initiate sex after a very exhausting day, voice it out.. "If you had helped me out initiatively, I would be in the mood right now. But I am just too exhausted for anything now."
Sigh. Me too Im simply too tired after work. Come home have to do house work and kids homework. His HP and TV is his wife too. If he is in good mood he will help to cook but still mess up. If not , he will offer help to mop floor after i had almost 3/4 of the house done What he wan is only sex n sex. So what i do is reject n reject.. feel so tired still got mood for sex meh..
Wow i feel such a lucky wife right now. My hubby is the only one who works (im a full time mom), he cooks (i cook too but he cooks most of the time because he cooks delicious foods while i cook instant food), cleans the parts of our house that i don't bother cleaning and takes care of our kids while im still sleeping.
My husband would help if i asked him too however there wete many days when i asked n nothing was done either. Yes i think men need me time. I feel they are like kids too lol. Need attention, me time sort of thing. He always tells me keep cleaning for what lol. You are not alone.
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My hubby dun help at all but sometime he will bath the boys... For me I understand cause he is the only one working n it really stressful for man too... Thinking this way make me feel better hehe
Mine is exactly opposite from you. My husband would do houseworks and help me take care my baby without me asking. But problem is he doesnt want to have sex with me anymore.
Yes. Same with me exactly. Just don't bother about the house. If he complain then its your chance to voice out.