Drifting apart after parenthood
After parenthood, I feel like I’m drifting part from my husband. I expected that he will be a more hands on father which initially he was but sadly after we had a helper, he just plays with baby for couple of minutes per day and weekends as well and that’s it. Now my baby refuses to let him carry for any longer than 10mins. And I’m the one who tries to spend more time by carrying, playing and reading books to baby after coming home from work and when my helper has her off day, I’m the one managing everything - I even have to wake him up to help me coz he likes to sleep till afternoon! After that he does help by preparing baby purée and putting baby bath water and washing & sterilizing bottles. Other than all these he’s just on his phone or on the couch watching tv. I’ve told him many times to spend more time with baby if not baby will never want him to carry and I’ve also told him everyone’s life and sleeping habits have changed to adapt to our LO except you. When we are out, helper and I will take turns to manage baby so we can eat while he just happily shake leg & eats his dinner. I’m feeling a little resentful from going through the process of IVF (I’m the one who has to inject myself with hormones etc) to the 30hrs labor to breastfeeding and sick of it. Even when he asks if we should plan for a holiday I feel sick of it too as I’ll again be the one planning the trip, planning what to pack , prepare & take care of my baby. On top of all these I am also the one managing my helper and instruct her what to cook for us on days that dinner is required. I’m a first time parent too and I am working full time as well, I’ve adapted my life from the arrival of my LO - is it too much to ask for my husband to put in more effort? We are not in the ‘60s!
