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Birthclub: October 2023

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Parents not happy with us when we against hiring maid for my newborn

Just a ranting post.. My parents has been always controlling over what I am doing. And even if me or my husband went against their will, we will get cold treatment from them. Worse, they raised their voice to make us scared and give in. From the first start we found we Im pregnant and we have made it clear we wouldn't want to hire maid, due to the heavy cost, mental stress (if she cannot work) and no place for helper to sleep. (Only living room) My husband and I made a decision to put at IFC when baby's 3mo. My mother was against the idea and tell us she can help to take care, even if she's tired she wouldn't mind. She added it's poor thing for my baby to go school and get sick at a very young age. She was so persistent w her persuasion so we forgo the IFC idea. I'm left with 2mths more to deliver and they suddenly brought up the hiring maid topic again. This time my husband and I make it firm we wouldn't want to hire and if your feel that helping us to take care of our baby is stressful to your, we will take care the baby ourselves. We wont let them interfere with anything. They aren't happy with us and they gave cold treatment, thinking we would surrender. We are staying with my parents, my husband just got his PR approved and we are intending to quickly get BTO to get out of here. I have been giving in to them the past 30yrs, now i feel like it's time for me to decide my life and plan whats best for my little family.. i hope im not toxic. #firstbaby #firsttimemom

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I think I’m considered “young” when I became a mom? (I was 24) No money as well so not many things can get fixed. However there really isn’t anything to fix. I gained 18kg during my pregnancy, I’ve never went past 47kg in my entire 20 years of life, imagine how devastated I was when I hit 61kg before I gave birth. I thought I could avoid stretch marks but what’s new? It started appearing at week 38. Nothing changed, except that I put on lots of weight and gained a few stretch marks. I spent 8 months (no dieting, , no exercise, just breastfeeding) to get back to shape (42kg). My stretch marks have lighten and since I’m not a bikini/crop top person, it didn’t affect me much. I forgot which month PP hair loss was at its peak, I was shedding like a husky (I didn’t use any hair loss shampoo or whatsoever since it’s a process I can’t escape), few months after, my hair started growing back on its own. You gave birth to a life, if your husband finds your stretchmark ugly, you probably need to change that dude. I am currently 20 months PP and everything has pretty much went to back to how it was prepregnancy (other than the lighten stretch marks). If I don’t bring my kid, no one will know I have a child cause I don’t look like a mom 😂. Don’t feel negative about your body, you’ve done a great job. Give your body time to heal and go back to how it was. You took 9 months to expand, give it the same time or slightly more to go back. Pamper yourself if you need to. You deserve it! 🫶🏻🙌🏻
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