6 Replies
I think it very much depends on how much either side would like to be involved, and how much you would like them to be involved. Personally, I feel that if it is possible, grandparents should keep to being the "doting grandparents" to the children, rather than as caregivers. That being said, I have friends whose parents are eager to help look after the children and would not settle for weekly visits. For them, it is true that one side is more "proactive" (for lack of a better word) but it seemed to be purely by choice and not by other criterion.
Honestly, neither side should have any "responsibility" when it comes to my children. My partner and I don't expect much from them but will appreciate any help they choose to give. Grandparents' involvement should be more on the leisurely side, I feel. If they have too much responsibility, they might also want a say in how you raise your child -- which is okay if you agree but when there is an issue that you don't agree with, it can be quite messy.
I agree that we shouldn't expect them to take care of your kids. If they readily volunteer their time n insist on helping, a bonus for u! Count your blessings because so many in laws/ grandparents don't help out much! So keep your own lil family box in place, be a Super mummy n appreciate any extra help that comes your way!
Since having my kids i have been taking care of them myself.Its not i dont trust them its just to me its my responsibility.Doesnt mean i am not working i need to take all the responsibility..So my hubby plan it out that we share it together..
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We don't rely much on either in laws or parents. Agree with Yuna where we don't expect from them but we are grateful for any assistance offered