9 Replies
There is no set formula to raise and discipline a child. While many parents believe in sparing the rod and using words like 'What you have rather done' or 'Lets try that again' instead of 'No, you can't' or 'Don't do that again.' It's really a question of how you want to parent your child. My parents never used physical means to discipline me or my brother. Having said that, they did use words like 'No, you must not do that again.' But it was said politely yet firmly, and it always worked. It's important for parents to lead by example, as Ms. Mendoza also mentions.
I was caned as a child and I remember "hating" the parent who caned me and "liking" the other parent. I believe that children can be disciplined without the use of canes, but the parent has to be firm. Children who are caned may think that violence is the answer to those who have wronged them and it may cause them to become more aggressive. I am hot tempered and flare up easily, although I can't say for sure if it is a direct result of being caned as a child. http://sg.theasianparent.com/why-you-shouldnt-cane-your-child/2/
There are numerous studies that indicate the negative impact of using corporal punishment to discipline children, ranging from an increase in future violent behaviour, to intimacy issues in romantic relationships. I know I'll probably get a lot of backlash for this, since caning and physical violence is still such an accepted practice in Singapore, but I've never been able to understand why this is okay. We can't hit other adults - that would put us in jail. Why on earth do we think it's acceptable to hit children?
I was never canned as a child and i am a firm believer of instilling values and good habits in my child without the need of using physical punishments. In my personal opinion we should teach our children that violence isn't the solution or way out of problems. Talk to them, hear them out and understand them so that they can inculcate these behaviors when dealing with their own situations in the future.
My parents never used physical means to discipline us. They taught us early on that good values didn't need to be forced on a child. Leading by example and talking to them with respect is more than enough. My brother and I turned out just fine.
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discipline children is important especially when they start to be out of control. But not with physical punishment, it won't fix everything just make it worse. As parent, children should respect you, not fear you.
There's a Balance of the soft and hard touch. It's a matter of not overdoing either.
thanks