Just to rant: feeling super angry that fil is keeping mistress with a kid outside, earns a comfortably annual income of $60k yet keep saying he has no money and asked hub and sil to give $800/mth for allowance. Then the mistress and her daughter lived comfortably like taitai, buy branded, buy tonic, high tea, drive new car. Even the dog goes spa twice a week, eats salmon or branded dog food daily. ? Dont understand why hub and sil keep giving in to fil knowing the fact that he is spending on the mistress! Argh!!! Incorrigible!

Anonymous

6 Replies

I think there are a few assumptions in there. Whether or not fil earns a lot or earns little, I think it is only normal and alright for parents to ask for allowance and I think children should actually take the initiative to give allowance actually. The amount is up to different family. Secondly, what ur fil does with the allowance or his income is really none of the children's business as long as he is not creating debt - like gambling and owe loan shark money. Whether he wants to spend it on himself or save or spend it on someone else, it is after all his money and he should have the choice to do whatever he wants with it as long as he is not hurting /neglecting the household. Is ur mil still around and married to ur fil? If yes then it's a whole different discussion about the having mistress thing and as the children u all can persuade the parents to deal with it otherwise there is nothing else U guys can do I don't understand why u think the mistress is living a luxurious lifestyle because of ur fil because it can be an assumption on ur part. For all u know, she has some monies with her or could be mistress of a few pple. 60k annually is not a lot and not v little, but most pple will not mind having more

I beg to differ. Having a mistress already big turnoff. Where's the mummy/first wife? Nowadays children want to feed their own family already v stressful, I don't see why they should give the father so much if he can support himself and his other kid. 60k a yr is ok, not low income. To support one kid and one dog, should be ok. But if your husb wants to give, nthg much u can do...

Anonymous

Thanks mummy, cox to me he did wrong to betray the wife and family. He wasnt paying a cent for the family cox husband is paying and providing. Fil kept this mistress in msia. She wasnt working since then. We met quite a couple of times, even been to their "love nest" luxury bungalow, nice new car. She shared with us her daily routine of having hi-tea and bringing her dog for spa. So to me i feel, fil wants to spend all his money on mistress is his biz, however don ask extra more money frm 1st fa

Hmmph, i think on the whole its your fil right to spend whatever he wants as its his money. Nevertheless, i do hear you and feel your frustrations. However, him asking for money could be because he feels that he is entitled to some money from the kids. Its the olden days concept id think.

Anonymous

Haha i understand that he has all the right to spend his money. Even divorce he also ask sil for money to do so. The frustration is because he kept asking for more money to give it to the mistress to enjoy the luxury. He didnt spare a thought for us at all. Anyway worse is, he doesnt even know what is my child's name and has nv asked abt his well being let alone 1 sweet frm him. Older ppl would say that he is under "black magic" well, nth much i can do also, just to rant out my unhappiness. Than

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How are you sure the Mistress is not paying for herself? Cause a 60k salary cannot afford all that are talking about - dog spa etc

thanks